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two-white-butterflies · 1 year ago

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parallel lines | d. targaryen | part two

Description: An ordinary middle school teacher moves to a desolate town with her fiancee. After suffering episodes of vivid nightmares, she realizes that his uncle looks exactly like the man in her dreams.

Pairings: daemon targaryen/reader, aemond targaryen/reader

Trope: Reincarnation

series masterlist |

"Trust I seek and I find in you Every day for us something new Open mind for a different view" - Nothing Else Matters, Metallica

(CANADIAN HEIGHTS, DRAGONVIEW. JANUARY 3, 2023)

"You couldn't have told me about Rhaenyra?" the sentence slips off your tongue immediately after the door slams shut. He takes a deep inhale, further expanding your doubts as he places his coat on the rack. "I don't like her - never did." he grumbled while walking towards the living room - you trail after him.

"I didn't think that you'd meet each other." he reasoned while opening a bottle of beer. "- it's the first time in twenty years that I've seen her work. She got the majority of Dad's trust." he avoided your gaze.

You continued staring at him - waiting until he tells the truth. "You could've told me that she was your sister." you pointed out. A scoff exits his mouth. "Half-sister." he corrected while taking his mug off the counter and storming straight to his office.

(STARLIGHT STEAKHOUSE, DRAGONVIEW. JANUARY 4, 2023)

The dinner came sooner than expected. Soon, you found yourself in the middle of a crowded steakhouse with all the school's faculty. It was pleasant to be in this atmosphere - they all had a familiar aura. One that you'd find in the Mayor's Office or a Family Reunion. They were all cool - nonchalant almost.

"The political climate in Dragonview is relatively calm. I thought all hell would break loose after Viserys died - but Corlys seems to be running this city well." Harwin, Rhaenyra's husband, proclaimed. You were about to ask a question, but a man walks in.

He had an impeccable posture, shoulder's straight - with the same command as a military officer. He was wearing black trousers and a polo shirt that was tucked in neatly. You could hardly make out the Lacoste logo on his chest - if it weren't for the smell of Le Labo Santal 33 that blinded you.

Your eyes trailed from his clothes to his face. Those fucking purple eyes - those eyes that you've been searching for. They looked like a field of Lavender, and all you wanted to do was drown in them. "Is she the new teacher in lucky St. Goretti?" he opened his mouth, his voice was velvety and deep. It made your head spin.

"Yes, the middle faculty's attractive levels are rising." Rhaenyra pats your back and you share a small chuckle. "I'm Daemon, Daemon Targaryen." he says his full name - like it was something that you needed to remember. He looked important, who was he?

"(Your Name)" you responded while shaking his hand. Electric sparks course through your body. Enchanted by a guy that you only met? Unethical. The man sits beside you - tracing his muscles through his tight polo-shirt. He was familiar. You knew him somewhere.

You knew everything about his body language - the way he leaned back when something was hilarious - the way that he took up space because he knew that he was entitled to it. His face looked like coming home. He looked like a thousand sleepless nights cuddled near the fire. But you shouldn't be feeling this way.

It was wrong that time stood still for a man other than Aemond.

"He's my uncle, actually. He owns the land where the school is standing in." Rhaenyra confirmed and your eyebrows merged into each other. "He's your uncle? Is he also Aemond's uncle?" you inquired, seeing an unsettling resemblance between him and your boyfriend. "He's our father's brother." Rhaenyra answered with a smile. "It's a small town, everyone's related." Harwin says.

You felt outcasted one more. Aemond knew everything about you, but you hardly knew anything about his past. When you asked him about it, he'd ignore you and move to 'better' topics. It felt like you were purposefully in the dark about him - like he was hiding something important.

"It's nice to finally meet you. My first meeting with Rhaenyra was quite rocky." you chuckled nervously, everyone in the table was searching for something behind your eyes. Waiting for you to remember? "So she's told," Daemon flashed you a rare smile.

"Of course, he's arrived fashionably late as usual." Rhaenys teased her cousin while cutting through her steak. "Do not get too cocky with me Rhaenys, just because you're the mayor's wife now." Daemon jested and everyone laughed at his joke. "You can't blame him, ever since his ex-wife died and left him that massive public library - he's spent all of his time there." Rhaenyra rolls her eyes, taking a sip of a diet coke.

"It's free and I will use it." he shrugged, turning his knees in your direction. You knew what it meant - he liked you. Was it possible that you weren't the only one with this feeling? "I must admit, I'm a little curious. Where did you meet my brother? What was his job again?" she placed a finger on her lips, attempting to remember her brother's job. Since her father's death, they've all went their opposite ways.

"He streams," you answer and the entire table falls into silence. They weren't luddites, but they were oblivious when it came to modern technology. "It's a work from home type of thing." you expanded and they all nodded. "How did you meet him?" Rhaenyra repeated her question and your face relaxes.

(BERNINA EXPRESS, SWITZERLAND TO ITALY. AUGUST 23, 2018)

Europe was beautiful, really cold, but beautiful.

It was your eighteenth birthday, also the death anniversary of your mother. It's been a decade since she died - life has never been better. "Coffee or hot chocolate?" the attendant inquires and you look at her, "Nothing, thank you." you popped those headphones back on.

So you're leaving, in the morning. On the early train.

It's been ten years since you've last listened to this song - it's humble melody still brought you comfort. You looked towards the vast horizon, soaking in the beautiful scenery of Switzerland. Never in a million years did you expect stepping foot in this country.

Well, I could say everything alright. And I could pretend and say goodbye.

"Miss, you're in my seat." a man leans down, standing beside you.

Your gaze hikes up to his face - he was an ethereal wisp of a man, he had a buzzcut and his hood was partially covering his face. Although, the hood wasn't enough to cover his missing eye. A purple eye?

"What? My seat is 13B." you stared at the ticket in your hands. You reached towards your phone, exiting Spotify and deciding to give him your full attention. "Yes, and you're in 13C." he clenched his jaw. Your cheeks turned crimson red.

"I'm sorry. Here, I'll move." you apologized, moving your body until you were seated beside the window. "It's alright, I'd sit there but I don't like window seats." he settled his backpack on his lap. A frown is etched upon your face, "How? It's the best seat." you voiced out.

An amused chuckle escaped his mouth.

"For you, maybe."

(STARLIGHT STEAKHOUSE, DRAGONVIEW. JANUARY 4, 2023)

"How did you meet him?"

"Europe, it's a romantic place." you smiled fondly at the memory. You always believed that you were lucky to meet him - the perfect strangers. It came straight out of a Disney movie. "Oh, where? Harwin and I met there too!" Rhaenyra cheered, quickly leaning on her husband's shoulder. "The Bernina Express."

Harwin's eyes narrowed - seemingly remembering an experience of his own. "Oh, remember that family trip when we went to in Italy? We took the Bernina Express too, was that where you met?" Harwin asked and Rhaenyra grumbled. "What date was that again?" she inquired and Daemon answered this time; with a shaky breath.

"August 23," he gulped.

It was the day where he remembered. The day that he began looking for you. "Exactly, it was my birthday." you smiled and Rhaenyra couldn't help but laugh. "We could've known each other sooner. Although, me and the others took the first class seats. Aemond insisted on getting the normal ones." she reminisced.

Daemon's teeth burrowed into his lower lip.

Did Aemond plan for this?

"Invisible string theory?" Mysaria inquired, but no one understood her reference. "We're glad to know you now," Daemon nodded - seemingly convincing himself. "Likewise," you smiled.

"(Your Name) can I get your Instagram? I took a really cool photo and I want to post it." Rhaenyra asked while pulling out her phone.

"Yeah sure!"

RhaeTargaryen: Dinner with the #SJTWSID Faculty! ❤️ Anyone know the full name of our beloved school?

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>comments

cordenciagomes: st. Joseph the worker's school in dragonstone 🤣 a mouthful isn't it? - RhaeTargaryen: Quite 😅

HarwinStrong: Beautiful picture!

(RED KEEP MANSIONS, DRAGONVIEW. JANUARY 4, 2023)

"I hope that you don't take the entire thing to heart." Rhaenyra stands outside of her uncle's mansion, half her foot was inside the door - half was still splayed on the concrete. "Everything happens for a reason," he responded with a thin lipped smile.

Rhaenyra becoming his close confidant was a surprise. In his other life, he was older by decades - in this life, there were only four years between them. They could relate to each other now - know each other in ways deeper than shared blood.

She breathes a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad that's all sorted. Just don't think much about it, I'm sure that Aemond doesn't remember. We haven't seen him since that trip 5-years ago, where he met her." Rhaenyra whispered. "Do you think that he remembered there too?" he couldn't help but inquire.

Rhaenyra ponders for a moment, before seeing her son descend from the Grand Staircase. "Don't think about it, uncle." she moved past him. "Jace, it's time to go home." she smiled.

Daemon did think about it.

It was 12:00am. Four hours past his bedtime.

All he could think about was you. The thought of you being engaged to his nephew brought shivers down his spine.

You were his wife for gods sake! The woman that healed his wounds, showed him what true love meant. Aemond did not deserve you.

He closes his eyes, trying to remove the mental image in his head. His nephew's arms around your waist, pressing kisses on your neck. Aemond standing beside you, usurping Daemon's rightful place.

There was an indescribable feeling in his heart. Hopelessness.

He'd exchange all the money in his bank account just to feel you in his arms again, seeking comfort in him like you used to do before. He misses the way that you'd talk to him about healing, and sometimes he'd tell you stories about his past in the battlefield.

Most of all, he misses the way that you'd plan about the future. Naming all the sons and daughters that you wanted to have.

Sons and daughters that he promises to have with you.

Please remember. Was the last thought that went through his head until he fell asleep.

(TIRANO, ITALY. AUGUST, 23 2018.)

Daemon exited the building carefully, excited to finally be back in this beautiful place. The country where Renaissance began. He sees a woman - walking past him and he can't help but feel drawn towards her. She was beautiful, slender and with alluring eyes.

The world stood still for a moment, before he finally got the guts to open his mouth. "Miss, can you take a picture of me?" he requested, pulling out his vintage camera that he bought especially for this trip. "I really have to meet someone," she tried to reason, clearly panicked and staring at the floor.

"Please, just one picture." he pleaded - feeling that familiar pain in his head. Hopefully the dreams wouldn't return tonight. "O-okay," she stuttered, reaching for his camera. He adjusted his suit, leaning on one of the airplane statues that they had in the courtyard. She clicks, taking a picture of him - before running off.

All without staring at his face.

"Thank you," he whispered - holding his camera and feeling electric sparks course through his body. She was the last thing he remembered before falling out of consciousness.

DaemonTargaryen.phd: Beautiful day here in Tirano. 🇮🇹

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Posted August 24, 2018.

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fareehaandspaniards · 6 months ago

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Ultimative Rom post

I was going to post my headcanons, but this turned out to be basically a chronological sequence of facts about her life, almost a biography (as always, I am sorry ).

Thank you, @pyro-madder for the opportunity to finally talk about Rom! I hope you will enjoy that!

Rom's father was a physician and biologist who researched the fauna of the Yharnam counties. He was one of the "old school" doctors - a graduate of Byrgenwerth, a conservative.

So how about the family drama? Here we go. At first he had an affair with a poor woman named Aglaya, Micolash's mother. But after learning of her pregnancy, he disappeared from her life and began a new affair, from which Rom was born. Rom spent a few years of happy childhood with her parents, and then both died in a fire. That's how Rom ended up in an orphanage.

Rom has been very curious since childhood. She was often scolded by her mother for eating grass and flowers xd And one time she even ate a bug… No evil intentions, it was just her way of exploring the world!

She has one single photo left from her parents, capturing her in a cute dress and her mom and dad. She got her red curls from her dad.

Rom's orphanage had strict discipline and focus on the old Yharnam religion (I don't want to openly call this religion Catholicism because it's not :0 But the vibes are generic. Reminds me of the movie adaptation of the novel Jane Eyre, where little Jane gets to go to school). But her extraordinary intelligence helped her stay afloat amidst cruelty and other people's malice, and then her relatives showed up - an uncle and aunt close to her dead father.

They helped Rom to enroll in Byrgenwerth, as the girl showed talent and curiosity for science and medicine. After spending a short time with her relatives, she studied the entire home library, and also at family evenings talked about her observations of the flora and fauna around their estate.

In Byrgenwerth, Rom was quiet at first. She endured ridicule for her red curls and overweight figure. A few generations ago, though, such a figure had been valued more than any other in Yharnam - it showed a healthy body and the ability to bear children.

Almost immediately Rom had a friend, Yurie, a girl who wore a male uniform. They studied at different faculties - Yurie aspired to become a chemist. And it was Yurie who had started this friendship, too. Rom didn't know, but despite her cold temperament, Yurie fell in love with her almost at first sight and was eager to protect her. And she was good at it! But she couldn't express her feelings. Therefore, she was often silent, rebuking Rom or resentful.

At first, Rom became friends with another young man. It seemed to her that she was making friends. The son of a wealthy family, an ambitious historian and future doctor, Laurence, with whom they had once teamed up to pass an exam. But Laurence quickly saw her as a competitor, and also experienced unwanted sympathy, and became her biggest bully. And created for her very many unpleasant situations, shameful and ugly. Her skirt fell off in front of everyone, her chair got dirty, rumors started, and many, many other things that silly children like to do (even if they are adults) :0

But the insults from Laurence allowed her to meet another victim of his taunts. A young man confined to a wheelchair, pale and seemingly almost dead - Caryll. Frustrated and genuinely hating Laurence, Caryll felt sympathy for Rom. So did she for him. This allowed the two to grow close. Gradually, an affection grew between her and Caryll. Rom even felt in love. One night the two of them spent together, secretly, on a Byrgenwerth balcony. They tried to kiss and tried to become a couple. But such feelings are not for Caryll, he loves differently. During that night they shared almost everything - life story, troubles, resentments, joys, secrets, and Caryll even told her about his dreams, how he often has nightmares related to multi-armed monsters (*wink wink*). They became best friends, and in fact, almost family.

Rom and Caryll also found a friend in the main comforter of all students, the librarian Damian. According to my headcanons, Damian is a former graduate of Byrgenwerth and a failed doctor. He was unable to start work as a doctor, and so he asked Master Willem to set him up at his alma mater. Willem valued him as an apprentice, so sometimes Damian got essays of Willem's written works, and those related to the research of the catacombs of Pthumeru once fell into Micolash's hands carelessly… But that's another story xd In the library Damian could do what he loved most - sorting, record keeping and, most importantly, guardianship and supervision. And there was always tea and his cookies available in his library.

There was also another man who had studied at Byrgenwerth. Unfashionable and strange to everyone, but too independent, proud and cunning to be an object of ridicule (In fact, Lawrence was very interested in him). Micolash. He and Rom talked, saw each other, though they were in different faculties, but sometimes found themselves in classes together. They were good together, comfortable. They were both drawn to each other's intellect. And… Romantic feelings were born in Micolash's heart. (Sorry, I really love love and everything related to it, in my stories crushes and feelings are VERY IMPORTANT xD It's my way of exploring characters). But her red curls kept reminding him of something he couldn't guess himself. He began to search for the cause of his embarrassment. Started looking for Rom's papers, found her last name. He found her parents' names on the paperwork. And the name of her father awakened a memory in his mind! Micolash found out about their kinship by breaking into Rom's dorm room while she was away and searching all her things. One picture in her things was enough for him to realize everything. He was hurt and offended because the only person who had attracted his mind and heart turned out to be not just a relative, but the daughter of the man who had once abandoned his mother, leaving her and little Micolash to live in terrible conditions, and also making the woman suffer for him for the rest of her life.

(Forgive me for the Santa Barbara xD)

Over the course of their studying, the relationship between them all only grew stronger. Caryll and Rom had become literally inseparable! Yurie was still wooing Rom, but from afar, without talking to Caryll. She wanted to look strong and tough in Rom's eyes, but she didn't realize that she didn't realize it. Rom had gotten prettier over the years, and that was helped a lot by Caryll supporting her and forcing her to eat food so she wouldn't get physically exhausted, bailing her out of her depression. By this point Caryll had already suffered a small clinical death, and Willem had injected him with a portion of the Great Ones' blood as an experiment. He had already started dreaming about the Runes, hearing voices, and had gotten quite a bit of insight! He even changed his wheelchair to a cane - his legs could move, but only weakly! And only worked when injected with a dose of blood. Rom became more independent and began to engage in debates with Laurence during lectures and outside of school. And even managed to shame him once (piquing his interest even more). Rom was gradually transforming into a grown woman - her body was transforming, as was her mindset. She became one of Willem's favorite students - demonstrating theories on the effects of flowers and plants on perception, as well as (without knowing it herself), revealing the unusual nature of Lumenflowers. Also during this time Damian and Micolash became a couple, and Damian couldn't devote much time to the students besides him. But he and Rom still kept exchanging things and stuff - like scented soap, cloth, and other household trifles.

Laurence had changed, too, and so had Rom. And he had gotten away from the "spoiled boy" image with what Gehrman had helped him by becoming somewhat of a father figure to him. Laurence looked forward to the future, communicated with Willem and promoted the theory of the Blood, studying it with Willem himself. Thanks to Laurence also, one day Willem took the students on a field trip to the catacombs, where Laurence was able to collect even more samples. At this time, Willem also starts working with a rebellious knight from Cainhurst, who actively helps with the exploration of the catacombs in exchange for shelter and organizes his own little order, which he named after the warrior-soldiers in Cainhurst and one of his old mentors (Logarius! I'll write about him later for sure! In another huge as Bayle post of headcanons).

There goes a visit to Fishing Hamlet! Which had already been destroyed by the hunters, Maria and Gehrman were already here, as well as Willem and Logarius. The students visited what was left. But were able to see the corpse of the Great One. And it affected each of them in its own way! But it was Kos's parasites that interested Rom. She spent a long time rummaging among the snails and worms, examining and studying. She even found the corpse of a female snail in a pile of rot. And something was keeping her in suspense. Everyone around her was grieving, and she couldn't do it. She just couldn't feel the bitterness and fear and remained calm. She felt interest and excitement. She felt not the pain of Kos, but the remnants of her spirit and desire to live that were leading her to the sea!

Laurence contemplates a future marriage, the first project of treatment with purified blood appears, and the study of sea water. And… He has a weakness for Rom, who absolutely does not care about him! He saw in her, finally, not a rival, but a beautiful young woman with a brilliant mind and extraordinary character. He even offered her an engagement, it would be beneficial to both of them. But Rom refused (and Caryll showed him a middle finger lol).

Rom hates direct eye contact. She also has a hard time understanding irony and sarcasm - she takes everything literally. Rom is great with facts and direct arguments! She's also a perfectionist. Sometimes she felt like she was forcing herself to express emotions and doing it "too" artistic? She really wanted to let others know how she felt because she was considered "ice cold" at the shelter. (Yes, she is autistic. And I haven't yet consulted with my friends who have autism about how Rom might feel. And I've only used what I've read myself (or seen) to create it. But if you disagree with my view of her as autistic person, please text me and tell me what's wrong, I need corrections)

Rom met Gehrman at Willem's request (much to Laurence's delight). And she also met the huntress Maria, originally from Cainhurst. The four spent one evening in his workshop, and Rom enjoyed listening to stories of his life. Actually, she and Maria found common ground too - with the help of blood gems. However, Maria always felt uncomfortable around Rom. Under Rom's gaze, it was hard for her to say anything, she felt guilty and ashamed of what she was doing. Rom didn't understand her feelings, but she realized that something was wrong with her.

Opening of the Research Hall. Rom was supposed to work there as a doctor. But positions and jobs don't interest her much, she cares about research. She works with parasites and injects seawater into herself. Rom researches growing eyes on people, and here she is helped by Caryll, keeping an eye on her health. Rom gradually becomes a patient of her own free will, and lives on the upper levels of the Research Hall, in a laboratory, alone, visited only by her doctor.

Rom's hair is almost impossible to put together in a neat bundle - it will always stick out in different directions. Despite the fact that she and Micolash are complete opposites, they have a lot of similarities - those protruding locks of hair, the frown, the passion for unethical research lol

Laurence, already a vicar, Willem's assistant, begins now to care for her openly. His work takes up all his time, but he carves out hours to check on Rom and ask the doctors what is happening to her. He sends her small gifts and food and tries to visit her. And… She reciprocates. I can't count how many shitpost sketches I have in my head about this. Because Caryll was horrified when he found out that Rom had forgiven Laurence for all his wrongdoings and become his lady of the heart!

The Tomb Prospectors under the command of Ludwig, a knight from the southern lands, are hard at work for the Church. Olek, Gremia and Damian are among his charges. Tomb Prospectors discover the first Augur of Ebrietas, and Laurence, as a gift (giving her food for thought, so to say) gives him to Rom to examine. Augur lives in Rom's terrarium and crawls on her hands. She discovers that it gives off vibrations similar to those she heard in the Fishing Hamlet. And she discovers that Augur has the ability to leave burns on her skin. These burns are treated by Caryll and kissed by Laurence.

Yurie also works at the Research Hall. But Rom won't let her near her. And the girl's broken heart is healed by another lady doctor of the Research Hall named Madlene (And in the future it will be Imposter Iosefka)! Also, Yurie picks up her little nephew named Edgar from the orphanage :^)

Micolash ignores his sister. He is solely researching Saint Adeline and making her his own test subject (At her own will). From the moment he found out about their sibling bond, Micolash and Rom have been distant from each other and even feuding. He now considers Rom "unhinged" and "stupid" because of her research methods. He believes that trying everything on her body is barbaric and a waste of resource.

Tomb Prospectors dubbed Rom a "hottie" when they saw her with Damian! :D

Also Rom is incredibly tall among all other women! (Except for Maria maybe who is also tall) Rom is 6′ 0″, and while Laurence 5' 5" lol... They are quite a funny couple. But Laurence never complains. Actually he has the best view when he talks to her.

Rom is the first to bandage her eyes to discover her new vision. And is the first to start seeing "more". Caryll helps her settle into life with the insight lol. Her bandaged eyes will become the basis for the Choir hat.

Rom and Laurence go on dates when she manages to get out of her research center and he manages to get out of the Church. But Rom is more interested in discussing augurs than romance, and Laurence has to temper his own passionate feelings for her each time. Still, the two gradually come to bodily intimacy. Laurence also becomes very caring. He feels like a child with her, and suddenly begins to show guardianship and attentiveness.

Rom studies the Augurs and hears their call. She learns from their singing about the "daughter of the stars". And builds a theory about the sacredness of the mother-child bond.

She and St. Adeline had seen each other several times. And they saw each other as rivals - both aspiring to the Great Ones in their own measure. Adeline wished to have a child, she heard voices in her head assuring her that Kos was blessing mothers and families, and that would set Rom on a future idea >>>

Rom makes a plan for her own pregnancy. She wouldn't admit it, but she sees Laurence as her instrument. Her research takes her head over heels, and takes her very much away from the people closest to her. In an attempt to learn more about the Great Ones, she even rummages into Caryll's papers, waiting until he falls asleep to check what he has in his researches. Rom realizes Kos's mother nature, and tries to make contact, again using only herself for the experiment. And this idea she shares with Willem, who is proud of Romina and supportive, helping to plan for all future consequences. He becomes her new "family". And now she gets secrets from her two favorite people, Laurence and Caryll.

She does become pregnant after a night with Laurence. She hears much, much more. And one night a call comes to her, a real crying cry for help. She hears Ebrietas. (Laurence is the last to learn of this news. But he is still happy and hopes that they can become a family)

Ebrietas, discovered by Tomb Prospectors in the catacombs of Isz, is frightened and confused. She screams into the void, and Rom takes her signal as a beacon. Several Tomb Prospectors die in the battle with Ebrietas, and the survivors experience their first doubts about what they are doing. The monster that tore and trampled their companions is elevated to "Holy" by the Church, and no one mentions the dead so as not to taint the image of the new icon. Damian renounces here the teachings of the Church. But despite his resentment towards Rom, because she doesn't seem to care about his grief, he maintains a friendship with her, albeit a weak one.

Speaking of how Ebrietas ended up in the Church, or rather, in a large cave under the Upper Cathedral Ward. I think it was simply that there were ancient ruins under the Cathedral District that Ibraitas managed to "summon" to. Honestly, I have no idea how else she could have been transported xd Crawling through the catacombs and the city? Nuh uh. Teleport? Maybe. Or summoning with ritual and stuff in a certain place where the voices and whispers are particularly strong.

Rom is known as "weird" in the Healing Church, and it is known to quite a few that she is the vicar's sweetheart. Logarius is very judgmental of the vicar for allowing a woman taking up his precious time. But Laurence is a good enough leader to not let him talk about it much xd

Around this point, Micolash already has intentions of leaving the Church and establishing his own line of study of the Great Ones. Damian is absolutely on his side, for his encounter with Ebraitas has left a wound on his soul, as well as a deep aversion to the Church's perception of the Great Ones. They both choose Kos as their beacon, separating her from the rest of the Great Ones. Damian and Rom are forced to cut off their friendship for good.

The Choir was founded! And Rom becomes its idol and prophet (My version of Rom in the transparent blue dress is already relevant here. This dress was created for her by Laurence, or rather, designed for her by him). He decorated it with stars. Rom didn't do any more research. She only broadcast Ebrietas' will and communicated with her. Her body starts changing - a plate of chitin appears on her cheek, one eye darkens, and the pupil in it multiplies by eight. She begins to grow flowers that will cover her entire body in the future.

Caryll leaves the church to pursue the study of runes at the Mensis School, and… Rom, to his surprise, feels nothing. Moreover, because of her prolonged contact with Ibraitas, she begins to forget her old life and the people she loves.

Rom's child is never born - she loses the child. But that child will return to her, becoming a multitude of spiders that appear with her during the battle. Laurence has been heartbroken - his girlfriend, his love, the one he chose to marry - has isolated herself and given herself over to an insight. He wanted to be a father. And all their shared dreams of a family went down the drain. But he doesn't complain - his feelings are less important, than coming fall of Healing Church and Yharnam that Laurence can feel. He never knew that he was part of her plan. Though Rom did love him. But curiosity was paramount.

Yurie went from the Research Hall to the Choir, following Rom. But Rom hardly noticed her attempts to protect and be near her. And this annoyed Madlene (Imposter Iosefka), who despised not only Rom's working methods but also her impulsive nature.

Rom and Ebrietas find each other as two halves. A daughter finds future mother. An orphan meets a similar orphan. They resonate with each other in the strongest possible way, and Rom learns to understand her by transmitting the Great One's speech. Rom spends all her time with Ebrietas. And will exist next to Ebrietas without reacting to anyone around her. Everyone will think she's lost her mind, but Caryll will know it's still the same Rom, just on different levels and planes.

Rom will exist already as a spider and she will be visited by Laurence, Caryll, Yurie and then Damian will come to her when his life's work proves to be a failure. Willem never came to her - he had stopped contacting anyone. But really, Rom and he didn't need to - Willem knew his apprentice had ascended.

And then she'll shelter Yahar'gul at the cost of herself. And Micolash will be annoyed - such potential, and wasted. Rom achieved what he couldn't - Contact. And wasted it, in his opinion. That's why he calls her an "idiot."

I can say that Rom has always been a loner, and even being surrounded by people - she remained lonely. Only Caryll could understand her and was practically her soulmate, but gradually they started to keep secrets from each other - secret knowledge creates jealousy and fear. She experimented only on herself, not out of fear of harming others, but more out of a desire to feel the results, even if it hurt and was bad. She is probably the most successful of scientists - she accomplished her goal.

I apologize for the amount of text! Adding my old art with Rom: (just because)

#rom the vacuous spider #bloodborne #bloodborne headcanons #my art #runesmith Caryll #laurence the first vicar #longpost

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justanancientfangirl · 1 year ago

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So this might be known already, and if so....sorry. I've been a huge fan and follower of Starkid since AVPM but I have never been involved with the fandom, so again, sorry if this is out of pocket or common knowledge. I just haven't seen it mentioned. This is a long one, so...main idea up top, long explanation under the cut.

So in the Hatchetfield musicals and Nightmare Time, we are told that the Lords in black are basically evil Eldritch monsters and Webby is their good guy sister, right?

But what do we know about Webby? We know what she has told Hannah and Lex, and we know she works in opposition to her brothers. We also know that Wiggly calls her a stupid bitch, but she was also actively telling Hannah what his plans were in order to thwart him, so. My point is, we do NOT know that she is a good guy, specifically. Just that her desires don't align with her more obviously evil brothers.

We also know that time seems to loop starting at Jane's car accident and seemingly ending at a point where the Lords in Black win enough influence to potentially cause a problem for the world at large. Sometimes this is a huge deal (TGWDLM or Black Friday). The NT episodes are much smaller and it's harder to tell when a reset might have happened (it seems like NT1 was more scattershot, but NT2 happened in the same continuity, but not the same one as NPMD).

The Lords we see in NT2 are Pokey and Nibbly. Nibbly gets what he wants (ie Linda Monroe) but Pokey doesn't in (presumably Killer Track) or Yellow Jacket. And Linda's dad says that Nibbly gets his Honey Queen Every year (I wonder how many times it's been her), so Nibbly getting what he wants isn't enough to reset the timeline. Possibly because he only gets one lady at a time?)

Some of the Lords seem more intent on being a real influence on the whole world (Pokey, Wiggly) others seem more content to mess with a smaller group (Blinky, Nibbly, Tinky).

We don't know what Webby wants, except that she doesn't want her brothers to succeed in getting what THEY want.

So: she creates a time loop. She sticks her brothers in a bit of a trap where they can potentially get free, but only in Hatchetfield to then spread to the world at large (Wiggly had influence all over the world (tho primarily in America it seems) but chose Linda Monroe as his vessel to come into the world even though the US and Russia had portals into the black already.)

Webby spins her stories, over and over, every time Hatchetfield fails to stop one of her brothers, she unravels it to the starting. Weird things keep happening in Hatchetfield, like in Perkys Buds that don't seem to relate to a specific Lord and their bid for power. Magic runs rampent in the town, seemingly stemming from the Starry Children cult. Now, they were worshipping the Lords in Black, but there has to be a reason that the Lords are so prevalent in the towns history, especially if Webby is the one who is resetting everything to Jane's death.

Tinky is the Time Bastard. If Webby trapped the Lords well, potentially with the sacrifice of Jane, he and the others might not have been able to properly escape, but they could use his time powers to influence the past of Hatchetfield. Like IT does with Derry. They've been a slow poison in Hatchetfield for decades, their magic and power causing a troubled past and weird events to occur. They try to break free, but if they get too close, their sisters web closes in and sends them back to the Black and the people of Hatchetfield back to the night Jane died.

Miss Holloway says that the deal she made for power comes with the cost that none can truly know her. She knows a lot about the Lords in Black and magic as well. It's indicated that she knows Webby as well in The Witch in the Web. We don't know with whom she made her deal, but I think it's likely it was Webby.

Webby also says to Hannah that she didn't give Hannah her power, but she also hasn't helped her understand it much, considering that Hannah thought Webby did in fact send her the visions, including the one that ended with her finger getting chopped off. To that end, when Hannah tried to confront her about it, Webby first tries to show up as a spider, and then as several (annoying) characters to distract her instead of trying to help, like she says she wants to do.

Who knows why Lex and Hannah have powers connected to the Black and White, maybe it's some weird Hatchetfield stuff, maybe their mom was the first to grow weed in the witchwood, maybe she had sex with a dude secretly possessed by one of the Lord's (it would have had to happen twice, so...idk about that) or maybe she herself was possessed by one of the Lords (Or Webby herself, planning for the future to make little soldiers to fight her brothers in the physical world). Not sure where that leaves the other kids with powers in YJ but none of them can do their magic outside the arena, and none of their powers seem to relate to the Black and White. So...maybe that's just Pokey giving them some power with his blue goop in his own quest to get Hannah to bring him into the world.

Anyway. Long post but...I just haven't seen anyone suggest that theory yet, and I thought it merits questioning.

I just don't think we can fully trust Webby. Not that she is definitely evil ... But she is an Eldritch god. She is bound to have a different view of morality than humans. And if what she wants is to get one over on her brothers, who she doesn't like and who don't seem to like her (well, Wiggly doesn't, and he seems to be the leader) then why shouldnt she use a town like Hatchetfield to do it, spinning her webs, he stories, and slowly trapping everyone inside. Hell, maybe every time they lose, they get a little more stuck.

We don't see the end of the world at the end of NPMD, but it definitely ends with Grace going on a rampage. I just wonder how long that will be allowed to last.

Fingers crossed for NT3 or another musical I guess.

#starkid #team starkid #Webby #nerdy prudes must die #NPMD #the lords in black

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raggedy-albert · 2 years ago

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Ooh what are the headcanons you mentioned

ok i have so so many but we’ll start with my favorite albert ones

He is part Portuguese and part Brazilian

He has freckles and always is covered with dirt and a smattering of bruises. He’s a redhead with hair that sort of looks like a bird that’s spiky, thick, and always slicked back. He’s very buff and likes to show it off. He’s not short (most other newsies are just tall), but he has a compact vibe to him. His face is very expressive, especially his eyes brows. He has light brown eyes. His skin is a very light brown and his face is heart shaped.

When he ran away from home after his brother died and after he started to become more angry and bigger, the Brooklyn newsies (they knew his brother, and it was the closest borough) took him in (which is where he met Spot, though he wasn’t leader of the Brookies yet. They weren’t really close though, they just knew that each other existed). The Brookies gave him a nickname (Red) and he became really close friends with someone, another newsie who was around his dead brother’s age. The newsie didn't have any friends but he had been with the Brooklyn newsies for a while, and Albert didn’t have any friends there so he thought it was a perfect match. The newsie would only call Al by his nickname, which he didn’t really like but the newsie told him it made him sound cooler, and he figured it was a way to disconnect from his past life. That newsie and him became brothers (“replacing” the brother he lost) but Albert didn’t realize how toxic and controlling he was. They went everywhere together and they sold together and were inseparable, but one day his “friend” got in trouble with the cops and was going to be sent to the Refuge so he blamed it all on Albert and got away with no punishment, while Albert got sent away instead. His short time there changed him, he has a few physical scars from the abuse (he hates others seeing them), but most of them are mental. He got extremely protective of others, which is where he first adopted the older brother mindset, but he also started getting nightmares as well as sleep issues and his mental health plummeted. He also became really jumpy, and he got much quieter, though before he was outgoing, loud, and rebellious. After he got out he always tries to give whatever extra food or little money he has to Specs to give to the kids he left behind, who he thinks about often. Ever since this, he swore off nicknames. He is still friends with a few of the Brookies, but he doesn’t like to see them too often since it’s hard for him because it reminds him of the newsies who betrayed him and his brother.

He’s actually pretty smart but didn’t get a school education since he started working so young. One of the Brooklyn newsies taught him the basics of how to read, which he used to tell the other newsies the headline or just to entertain himself. He’s sort of a smart dummy though, and it’s more street smarts than intelligence.

He used to mostly live at his house but ever since both of his brothers moved out his father became more violent due to there not being anyone to protect him anymore, he lives in the lodging house most of the time. Sometimes he randomly shows up late at night with bruises and doesn’t say anything about why. The other newsies just accept that he sometimes shows up and needs a place for the night. He has his own designated bed there (the bunk under Race’s).

Before his mom died, he wasn’t really close with her. He mostly spent time with his dad. Even if they didn’t really talk, they just got along and sat in comfortable silence together. It’s not like he disliked his mom or anything, they just weren’t close and it was sort of awkward whenever they would interact. After she died though, his dad completely changed. He got angry. It was like he had lost two parents, not one.

He talks loudly and slightly “off” because a) he’s hard of hearing, and b) he was born in Brooklyn, but switched to Manhattan at a relatively young age, so he talks in a combination of both. He also uses a lot of slang so he’s hard to understand (Race is the interpreter). Also his parents both had accents so…

#albert dasilva #albert newsies #newsies #newsies albert #livesies #newsies headcanons #race newsies #racetrack higgins #race higgins #redfinch #ralbert #this was a lot longer than i thought it would be #keep sending me asks!#headcanons

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crazygemini-world · 2 years ago

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Here's a guzma x older male reader

Guzma = in his 20's/reader= 30

So I'm a sucker for appreciation/comfort and sibling figure in anime and for me Guzma would feel like a burden if he'd talk about his worries to the team(he feels like he needs to be strong for them) so what better but a older brother who knows him like the back of his hands ?

Mentions:theres a theory that Guzma was abuse by his father so warning because it will mention it (and no I don't glorify abuse but I think it's a possibility that what happen to him because of the clues in the game)

--------------------------------------------------

Guzma always act as if everythings alright or at least try,there's somedays he'd lock himself away in his room and would not come out for days.But this time was different and Plum's worried cause's it's been five days,Guzma still didn't come out,not even to eat.

Seeing the way things are going she decides to go and look for someone who she knows would be able to understand and talk to Guzma,his brother.She knows very little about him she heard once while going to talk to Guzma that he was living not to far from Po town so Plum started to search and After hours without success she stumble upon a man with a Beautifly and a Ribombee.He was crafting something ? like a scarf with matching colors with the Beautifly.

She then noticed the similarities of features he had in common with Guzma,the eyes the nose,the jaw .It was without any doubt the one she was searching for.Plum slowly came up behind the older man but before being able to speak a Meowth alart him of her presence.

He turn around with surprise, he's three pokemons on the ready to fight.

"I ain't here to fight ya man !I actually need ya help..."

"My help ?Wait,are you Plumeria ?"

"Yeah that's me"

"Excuse me for that *shows pokemons*I've been provocked in a fight by surprise and dis not like it"

"That's alright but ya are Guzma brother's right ?"

"I am,he told you about me ?"

"Na I learnt about while interupting one of your calls"

"Oh alright,so what do you need help for ?"

"Guzma been locked up in his room for days and we can't get him to get out even to eat"

"How long ?"

"five days"

"Lead the way"

Without any information he got up and,followed by his pokemons,followed Plumeria to Po Town. Once arrived he doesn't bother to introduce himself,he just go straight to Guzma room with the indecations Plum told him the way .

Once arrived to his destination he slowly knocks on the door.

"Guzma ?"

He hear a sudden shuffling of fabrics then the door unlock in a seconde .Now in front of him was a tired Guzma looking more like a mess then usual,puffy eyes,in baggy clothes which looks more bigger on him than they should,he overall looked fragile.

"Y/n...?"

"hey...is it alright if...I come in ?"

Guzma nods slightly and stand out the ways to let his brother enter his room.Y/n pokemons stayed guarding the door to prevent any curious to heavedrop on them.

The room was a mess but less than he expected.Guzma didn't bother to try to do the tough guy,he went for a hug and started crying.Y/n knew what it could be related to,but did not know what trigger it.While hugging him back he slowly bring them to the floor.He didn't want Guzma to fall because of his state.

"Now breathe,you're safe,you're with me.Please tell me what happened."

Guzma now calmer stayed silent a little moment then proceed to explain.

"I saw Kukui and he told me that I wasn't going to acheive anything and then he moved his arm and...it...it made me go back and...."

Y/n thighten his hug knowing what he was going to say all too well

"I was so scared,I won't stop getting nightmares and...and...what if he comes back or..."

Not letting him finish,he push him away enough that Guzma look at him in his eyes.

"What happen with dad is over.I handled it.He will NEVER hurt you again and don't forget that you have your friends and me to protect you !"

"...really ?"

"Have I ever lied to you ?"

"If ya did ,I never found out"

While finally smiling the brothers stay a little more alone talking about all and nothing.Y/n even managed to make Guzma laugh.After sometime Guzma changed clothes,took a shower (he needed it) and finally goes out his room tightly holding Y/n hand's.

"Ya got him to finally go out ?"

"Yes,he's alright now"

"I'm right here ya now"

Then all of the grunts started to ask if he was okay,if he needed anything,telling that they're happy to see him.That's when he realise that in a corner his brother was smiling.He smiled back he was happy.

#x male reader #pokemon #skull leader guzma #siblings

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livingfictionsystem · 7 months ago

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Familial Grief with D.I.D.

Our father died suddenly more than a week ago. He was never abusive or nothing. He bordered on neglect at times and definitely favored the cis het sports-loving younger son more than us, which messed us up a bit. Still, I loved the dude, so I was a wreck.

He died in his sleep at 5-fucking-9. Who does that? Well, he was on the heart transplant list and just never fucking told us. Was in the ER last month, right before I last visited, never told a soul. I could kick his ass for that.

He was a cool, smart, funny guy that just couldn't relate to his fucked up kid with multiple personalities and substance issues. But we did always send each other music recs. He used to be my 'Call a friend' whenever my bar wanted to hear weird shit.

Xanthe actually does not feel related to the body's family at all. They've made friends with Mom and Dad over the years, had talked to them, got used to their quirks. But to them, they're almost like coworkers---like bummed, but not heartbroken. This wasn't a part of their childhood. My parents didn't raise Xanthe, the brain/inworld did. Vex and Phisoxa are Xanthe's parents. So, for the past two weeks, dealing with the grief and the trip to Ohio and the funeral and all, they've been mostly switched out.

It's a family thing, and Xanthe knows it isn't their bag. We're still being called Xanthe, even though we're Xhaxhollari, Rune, and Sparrow.

They'll check in on Xhax, Rune, and I, ask how we're holding up. They're here for advice and social protection (i.e., how to stand up for myself around relatives without Making A Scene.)

I've been almost front-stuck since I found out. Mainly because I have to stay with my mom and her extremely chatty ass is a sensory nightmare for Xhax. I'm reconnecting with the Appalachian side of my family---my OG accent is coming back.

I didn't post anything about it on main because, no offense, y'all can be dicks sometimes and I didn't want you to inbox us rude shit about it while we're still fragile. But. Yeah. We lost our dad. It sucks.

-Sparrow

#life update #grief #system update #sysblr #dissociative identities #don't be dicks because i opened up pls #i also had to block my ex metamor because they wanted to yell at my partner for hanging out with me on the day of my dad's funeral #so that was nice #so if I'm messy for a few months #mind your business

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one-abuse-survivor · 1 year ago

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hi ! it’s the anon with the abusive sister, and i bring good news !! i really wanted to share it cause no one irl knows what my sister did to me, and i feel like i’ve made a huge step in getting better !

(first tho, thank you so much for the resources/advice about healthy coping skills !! i’ve bought a stuffed toy of a rabbit and a dog that i now sit with whenever i miss them/get triggered/generally need comfort. we’re thinking of adopting a dog next year when my dad is ready, so i’m looking forward to that ! i’m still a bit scared because i’m so used to dealing with an elderly dog—my dog was 14 when she died—and i don’t want to accidentally hurt a puppy (even tho i know i wont because i’m fine with other people’s pups). but i’m still excited !)

okey, good news time ! (sorry that this got so long ! i just had a lot to share and no one to share it with, so i hope you don’t mind)

one - i cut off my grandmother. she told my sister that the rabbit had died and used it as to excuse why we weren’t talking to her, and then she implied that the reason why my sister did what she did was because i was born and took attention away from her. the only way i could interpret that was ‘it’s all your fault and you shouldn’t have been born’ so i cut her off (though my main reason was secretly about the rabbit, because she had no right to do that and grieving made me 10x angrier). i haven’t spoken to her since january and it’s wonderful, but she did message me on her birthday to thank me for the card i wrote (my parents forced me to send it to save my mother from getting hateful texts) but my mother typed out a response for me because i was too anxious. since then, my mum cut her off too so things have been better. i have wobbled a few times thinking that i’m overreacting or being unfair, but it’s like, she’s abusive, she let my sister abuse us, and is generally just unpleasant to be around. why would i want to be around someone who implied that i deserved to be abused because i dared to be born?

two - my parents finally realised that i’m not exaggerating about my memories. they’re a bit upset, but it finally clicked that i really don’t remember much. they’re also taking my nightmares more seriously (not that they weren’t already) and that side of the family is very rarely talked about. it’s nice that it’s open in the household now, since they already knew about my anxiety but this is like a step up. (they also FINALLY listened to me about me possibly having adhd, but only because my mum might have it, but whatever).

three - not fully abuse-related, but still kinda good. i have been saved from a possible relationship with a cheater and enforced one of my relationship boundaries ! there’s a guy i’ve been talking to for a few months (since around april?) and i thought that i might end up in a relationship with him. he was very flirty and honestly a bit of a smooth talker, and i embarrassingly fell for him because of that, yet he’s had a partner the entire time. i only found this out two days ago when he told me that she had blocked him and he didn’t know what to do. thankfully school starts up again in september, and because i’m in my final year before i go to uni, i have to practically get rid of my social life in order to study so i don’t have to talk to him. i don’t wanna talk to him about it, even though i should, because now my trust in him is gone and i won’t be able to have a friendship with him either. cheating is something my abuser did frequently to her partners and something she gaslight me over, saying stuff like ‘oh i never cheated you’re wrong why do you hate me etc’ even when we had proof in the form of a baby, so i have a very strict policy to not date cheaters/get caught up in an affair of any kind. i might be overreacting, but literally the day before i found about his partner he sent me a post on instagram that said ‘i love you <3’ and he’s frequently said it before, as well as stuff like ‘you’re so cute’ and ‘you’re so sweet’ with a bunch of other compliments i actually feel sick reading. i know it can be meant platonically, but he knows i use tone tags and some of the stuff he’s said before had a nigh-on sexual tone to it so i struggle to view it as platonic. but whatever ! it was my bad for not seeing the red flags, but i’ve seen them now, and i’m doing what is best for me.

it’s my abuser’s birthday in a few weeks, so i’m gonna take extra care of myself around that time just in case she tries to get back in contact, but i know the day is uncomfortable for me anyway so i have some plans in place for comfort and distraction.

i can do this ! i’m going to recover from what happened and deal with my mental health no matter what happens !

Hi again! I'm really sorry it took so long to reply ❤️

That's amazing that buying stuffed animals helped you! I'm really glad to have been able to help with my advice. And it's so exciting that you're going to have a puppy! I'm sure you'll be amazing with it! :3

I'm so glad to hear you cut out your grandmother, nonnie. She was abusive, and a abuse apologist and enabler, and you absolutely did the right thing. It's completely normal to doubt yourself and wonder if you're exaggerating after cutting out someone who was so hurtful to you, but the best thing you can do when you feel that way is just to keep going, because time really gives you the clarity that you need. And it can also help to (carefully) remind yourself of some of the stuff she did and said if you're worrying about exaggerating.

I'm really happy for you that your parents have also cut out your grandma and are taking your issues more seriously now, and are willing to have conversations about them with you. You deserve all their support while you navigate your nightmares and memory issues and possible adhd. I hope things have improved a little now that you've been able to talk about these issues openly and honestly ❤️

And woah, you really dodged a bullet with that guy! Ugh, what a crappy situation to be in. Good for you for cutting contact with him after seeing the red flags! I really get you about cheating—my own abuser dated a married man for years behind his wife's back and made it my responsibility to keep it a secret, so I absolutely, 100% get your reaction. And, for the record, you were not exaggerating.

And, lastly, that's so amazing that you planned ahead for your sister's birthday and prioritised taking care of yourself during that time of the year. You ought to be really proud of yourself for that. I'm proud of you! It's not easy to be gentle with oneself during trauma anniversaries and other difficult trauma times of the year. Go you ❤️

Best of luck with your last year of school! You've got this! 💪🏼

#Abusive sister anon #ask #Abuse tw #Abusive sister #Abusive grandparent #Abusive sibling #Gaslighting mention #Gaslighting tw #Cheating mention #Cheating tw #Abusive mother

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icestorm1196 · 1 year ago

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We can't trust Webby.

So in the Hatchetfield musicals and Nightmare Time, we are told that the Lords in black are basically evil Eldritch monsters and Webby is their good guy sister, right?

Some of the Lords seem more intent on being a real influence on the whole world (Pokey, Wiggly) others seem more content to mess with a smaller group (Blinky, Nibbly, Tinky).

We don't know what Webby wants, except that she doesn't want her brothers to succeed in getting what THEY want.

Tinky is the Time Bastard. If Webby trapped them well, potentially with the sacrifice of Jane, he and the others might not have been able to properly escape, but they could use his time powers to influence the past of Hatchetfield. Like IT does with Derry. They've been a slow poison in Hatchetfield for decades, their magic and power causing a troubled past and weird events to occur. They try to break free, but if they get too close, their sisters web closes in and sends them back to the Black and the people of Hatchetfield back to the night Jane died.

Miss Holloway says that the deal she made for power comes with the cost that none can truly know her. She knows a lot about the Lords in Black and magic as well. We don't know with whom she made her deal, but I think it's likely it was Webby.

Anyway. Long post but...I just haven't seen anyone suggest that theory yet, and I thought it merits questioning.

We don't see the end of the world at the end of NPMD, but it definitely ends with Grace going on a rampage. I just wonder how long that will be allowed to last.

Fingers crossed for NT3 or another musical I guess.

#Hatchetfield #Starkid #webby #lords in black #theory #spoilers #nerdy prudes must die #tgwdlm #black Friday #wiggly #long post

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bensonsbobblehead · 3 years ago

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It Takes A Village - Emily Prentiss x Reid!Daughter

Summary: Reid teenage daughter and Emily has an amazing relationship but its put to the test when Emily "dies"

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x Reid!Daughter

Content warnings: death, arguing, yelling

Category; Angsttt

Word Count: 1.6K

[masterlist]

a/n: im finally back, my last week of school is this week so ill be back to posting :))) hope you like this one may be a part 2!!!

The BAU had been Spencers and Y/N family for the longest time. Raising a child at a young age was a challenge for Spencer. He of course handled it with grace, but also with the people of the BAU. Ever since y/n came into Spencer's life the BAU had loved the girl like their own.

Rossi always teaching y/n to cook Italian “correctly”. Y/n loved going to his mansion for dinners with the team. Gracia always spoiling y/n since she was young. Taking her to get her nails done, cry sessions, and sneaking y/n to see horror movies even though her dad thought it gave her nightmares. JJ was also perfect with y/n being her godmother and all, she spent countless days having sleepovers with her.

Y/n loved her family, even though they weren’t blood-related. She loved her extended aunts and uncles but Emily had always had a special place in her heart since she joined the BAU. Like everyone else on the team y/n had to feel Emily out.

Y/N had never seen Emily and was always cautious of new people, so when Emily decided to talk to her on a particularly bad day it couldn’t end well.

Y/N stormed into the bullpen after getting into a fight at school. It was never like her to react in violence but she reached her wits end after being bullied. Spencer was very understanding but still a bit disappointed. Approaching her teenage years were going to be rough, It didn’t help that y/n was constantly changing.

She sat down with her eyebrows scrunched and with anger seeping from her. She was a bomb waiting to explode. Emily walked in finally getting used to the BAU routine and sat across from her.

“Hey, are you waiting for someone?” Emily said nicely noticing how angry the girl was. Emily knew about y/n but had never seen any pictures of her so she had believed she was a victim waiting for an agent.

“Are you waiting for someone?! You look too old to be my Uncle Aaron's assistant.” Y/n said rolling her eyes catching Derek’s and Spencer's attention as they were walking back from getting coffee.

“Y/N! Say sorry now! This is Emily a new member of the team.” Spencer said as tears grew in y/n eyes. She was never a mean girl but her emotions were all over the place lately. Y/N was utterly embarrassed for being so disrespectful.

“I’m so so sorry, Emily please don’t hate me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Y/N said running towards the bathroom before Emily could reply.

“I’ll go talk to her,” Emily said to Spencer, Emily always grew up around constant change, and adding a new member to your family is a big change.

“Hey, y/n it’s Emily, and I promise I don’t hate you. Your dad told us about school so I completely understand.” After a few moments of silence, y/n opened the door with puffy red eyes.

“Why are you being nice to me when I was so mean to you?” Y/n asked through her tears.

“I can tell you’re a great girl who’s just having a bad day.” Emily smiled rubbing her shoulder causing y/n to hug her. Even though her dad always told her to be wary of strangers y/n felt different about Emily.

Since that day Emily had been the person y/n went to for everything. Spencer had done everything perfect but he would never truly understand what it was like to be a girl, especially one approaching womanhood. Emily talked and helped y/n through everything. Boys, school, periods, everything, Emily was there for y/n.

When Doyle started to enter Emily's life again, things changed between them. Days before Emily “died” they got into a heated argument. It was the night Emily decided to leave thinking it would keep everyone safe. She had no intention of running into y/n, more so her showing up at her apartment. Not that she didn’t mind, this just wasn’t the best time.

“Y/N why are you here?” Emily said approaching the door and walking past y/n without even looking at her, “Nice to see you to Auntie Em.” Picking up skills from her dad she could tell something was up.

“Y/N I need you to go, okay? You can’t be here.” Emily said quietly opening the door and frantically packing a few things.

“Slow down Auntie Em what's going on? Are you leaving?”

“I need you to go, for your safety leave,” Emily said grabbing her shoulders and looking in her eye. Emily knew what Doyle was capable of and didn’t want y/n to get caught in the crossfire.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on? I came here to talk to you about that thing and get help on what do nex—“ y/n was cut off by a very angry Emily.

“I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER. Go get help from your dad or JJ or anyone but me. I don’t care who just get out.” Emily shouted causing y/n to step back. She had never yelled at her like this.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Y/n whispered as tears grew in her eyes walking towards the door. Y/N never had a mom who was in the picture. Emily was the closest thing, it hurt y/n even more for Emily to say such a thing.

After the argument, the days moved fast and Y/N was getting picked up from practice to go to the hospital.

“She never made it off the table.”

Y/N had just walked in when she heard her Aunt JJ say the words. She never made it off the table.

“Who? Dad? Who died?” Y/n said dropping her bag on the ground.

“Y/n…. Emily died sweetie.” JJ said softly to the girl preparing for her reaction.

“No... NO! I want to see her, please! She’s .. please let me see her JJ.” Y/n screamed as Jennifer pulled the girl into a hug.

The Reid household had struggled for weeks. It was the worst thing the pair had been through until finally, it was some a bit of normalcy again. Spencer was back working and Y/N had returned to school. Everything was okay, y/n visited Emily's grave almost every day to eat and talk with her. It wasn’t the same but it helped y/n.

The morning Emily came back was probably the best morning the Reids had yet. Y/N had won her championship game and school was almost coming to an end.

“Emily would be so proud of you.” Spencer always reminded the girl.

She was walking to her next class when her dad texted her to come to the BAU after school for a small celebration on her win. Y/N was gonna be late due to the fact the team was having a get-together she had to be there for.

At the BAU Hotch was gathering the team to tell them about Emily. After the news broke about Emily, Spencer immediately thought about Y/N. He wanted to tell her on his own. But it was too late, she was already walking through the doors with a smile on her face. Spencer knew this would blow her world up.

Noticing the empty bullpen Y/N walked toward the round table doors before her dad stopped her.

“What’s going on Dad?” Seeing the looks on everyone’s faces through the blinds.

“Y/N you can’t go in there. Okay for your good.”

“Okay fine” deciding not to push her dad to let her go in, “But I have to tell you abo—-“ she was cut off by a familiar voice. A voice she cried wishing she could hear again for weeks. The same voice that reassured her after her first heartbreak.

“Y/N” Emily said causing Y/N head to snap. The pair was frozen staring at each other. They could see the different emotions and thoughts going through the teens head.

“I’m so sorry honey, we had to for my safety,” Emily explained, by this time the entire team was out of the room watching the interaction occur.

“We?” Y/n looked at Emily puzzled, did someone else know she was alive? The teen thought to herself.

“I had to honey so we could keep us all safe, especially your auntie em,” JJ said to the girl hoping she would understand.

Y/N was hurt, JJ and Aaron had been lying to her about Emily being dead. JJ was there to see the aftermath of Emily’s death and never said anything.

“I FUCKING hate you! You saw what it did to me dad and me! And you said nothing.” Y/n yelled at JJ with all the hurt in the world.

Y/n was speechless she had just picked herself up from Emily’s death. Her mental health and grades were just starting to slightly recover.

“Y/n please let me explain,” Emily begged.

“NO! Do you remember our last conversation? What you said to me?” Y/n yelled voice echoing through the bullpen.

“Huh?! Do you? Do you even know what we went through? What I had to go through?” Y/n continued, everyone in the room understanding.

“I couldn’t eat or sleep for WEEKS, my dad was destroyed, and I almost got kicked off the team. God... I wish you were dead.” Y/n stormed off with her dad following behind her. Emily started to follow the two until Spencer turned around.

“Just..give us some time Emily.” He said as nicely as he could. Spencer was just as angry as everyone else in the room but knew he had to be there for his daughter.

The father-daughter pair arrived at home before Spencer could say anything the girl ran to her room and slammed the door. Y/N felt completely betrayed and hurt. She just wanted to disappear.

#Emily Prentiss #Emily Prentiss x daughter #Spencer Reid daughter #Spencer Reid x daughter!reader #Emily Prentiss x daughter!reader #spencer reid dad #spencer reid x daughter #spencer reid imagine

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years ago

Note

just a wittle request, could you do something where bucky comforts the reader who has mommy issues after she has a panic attack over the thought of turning out like her mother?

Hi there, sorry this took so long! I still haven’t processed my own so I had to take a few breaks. I apologize if this is off the path of what you meant, I’m going off of my own experience but I know it’s different for everyone.

You're nothing like her.

Bucky x reader

Word count: 3219

Warnings: mommy issues, toxic childhood, talk of divorce, panic attack/anxiety, negative self-talk

A/N: This takes place in a timeline where Bucky is retired

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You did everything you could to avoid it. To avoid her

You left home as soon as you could. When you were in college you were surrounded by people who were homesick, people who wanted to go home, people who finally had to take care of themselves. Things you couldn’t relate to.

You had been supporting yourself most of your life. Not that you had much of a choice. Your dad left when you were younger, your mother blaming it on you. If you had been better, maybe he wouldn’t have left. You, being young, believed her. What else were you supposed to do, growing up in a world that preaches ‘mother knows best’?

Load of bullshit to you.

You knew better now, being an adult, that she didn’t know best. She worked or went out with friends and left you to raise yourself, telling you it was your fault when she neglected her responsibilities. And when you would get upset she would play the victim, crying ‘woe is me’ because you were so ungrateful to the person who raised you after you drove her husband out.

“You know it’s your fault right?” she had snapped at you one night at dinner. There was a graded paper, a B written on the top of it.

“What?”

“You’re the reason he left me. He just couldn’t stand you. You’re the reason why he left and why I’m so miserable now.”

You had felt tears in your eyes.

“Tears, really? Tears aren't going to change the fact that MY husband LEFT.”

Her husband, not your father.

No, you knew better now to know that what she had done and said was wrong. But that didn’t make you forget. It didn’t make it any easier for you.

You went to college, saved up as much as you could, and gave tight-lipped smiles when people asked why you didn’t go home on weekends or vacations. You tried not to talk about her much, but that didn’t stop you from thinking about her.

You had stood at your college graduation, caps thrown and loud laughs and cheers echoing around. There were a bunch of people celebrating around you, taking photos, but you had stood on the outskirts. You had a small smile on your face for everyone else, but you couldn’t help but feel empty inside. You hadn’t made many friends, not close friends, but that was a good thing. You could take the photo so no one was left out.

Not so much of a text from her. She hadn’t come, she hadn’t called or anything.

In a twisted way, you were glad that she hadn’t. She couldn’t make a big deal about how you weren’t the top of your class or how you didn’t deserve to be. How you didn’t have a job set up to start the next week even though you already were planning on submitting your resumes. There wasn’t a way to please her, so it was almost better that she wasn’t there.

You had texted her after a few days and she made up some bullshit excuse that she had forgotten to put it on the calendar.

She liked your Instagram photo though. So thoughtful

You worried you would turn out the same way. Or that she had rubbed off on you in some way. You kept to yourself as much as you could, staying in, keeping your emotions to yourself. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust people, maybe it was, but more so you were worried that you would seem like you were playing the victim.

You didn’t want to bother anyone or make anyone feel obligated to listen to you. You worried that behind your back they would complain about you being emotional or making everything about you.

You worried they would talk about you the same way you thought about your mother.

People are supposed to look to their parents to teach them what to be, yet you found yourself wanting to avoid everything your parents did to you. They taught you exactly who you didn’t want to be.

Your father left. Your mother hated you.

You didn’t share your opinions because you didn’t want to be told you were wrong. You didn’t want to force your ideas onto anyone. Not like what you said would make a difference anyway, not that it mattered in the first place.

You remembered all of the sentences you would start but not finish because no one had heard you. Trying to jump in a few times and eventually giving up when the conversation had moved onto a new subject. All the times people would interrupt or interject, making you feel like you didn’t have something to say that was worth hearing.

You thought it would get better when you got a job. But the pressure you put on yourself to do well in school was transferred to the job you had gotten. You still were afraid that people saw yourself as your mom used to and that you would never be good enough for anyone. You thought that achievements would make you feel fulfilled.

But if you didn’t believe in yourself, what were a few “job well done's” supposed to do?

It made it hard to get into a relationship. People say that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else,” but that didn’t feel so true to you. It was more that you didn’t trust yourself to love someone else. You worried about hurting whoever you were with, and you told yourself that if you didn’t get close to anyone, you couldn’t hurt them.

But then you ran into him.

He was on a morning run and you were walking home from a night shift, both too tired to see each other coming. You because you had just finished a shift, him because he was running off the nightmare he had had the night previous. Both of you craving a sleep that seemed just out of reach.

You were very apologetic, as was he, both afraid that you had hurt the other. You avoided his eyes even though they were trained anywhere but your own, as he fiddled with his gloved hands and you scratched the back of your neck.

It was the first time either of you had seen someone as unsure as yourselves

You had parted ways with only each other's names. Bucky and y/n.

The two of you crossed paths a few times in the following weeks, eventually getting each other’s phone numbers and agreeing to meet for coffee rather than hoping the other left at the right time. Eventually, the subtle nervous tics each of you had died down as you got to know each other.

For the most part.

You still overly apologized for everything. If you were a few minutes late, if you spaced out...you took the blame for everything.

Traffic had been bad, a storm and an accident causing you to be 5 minutes late rather than 15 minutes early. You had run into the coffee shop, scanning the restaurant with wide eyes when you saw Bucky sitting there casually.

“I am so so so sorry, I should’ve left earlier, there was an accident, I’m so sorry I’m late -”

“Y/n, don’t worry about it,” he had said, a smile on his face and a slight flash of concern on his face. “Seriously, it’s a couple of minutes. It’s literally fine.”

“No, I’m really sorry, I should’ve known or called or something.”

“Relax. It’s totally fine, I promise,” he had said, concern a little more present on his face. “Are you okay though?”

“What? Yeah, I’m good. How have you been with everything?

You wouldn’t let him talk about you. The same way your mother never let you talk about yourself.

Don’t think about her.

He had started opening up to you but you still kept your personal life under lock and key. Your name, how work was, and your physical well-being was about as personal as you got. Even so, if work had been a shit show or you had to pull an all-nighter would go unspoken. He didn’t need the burden of your personal issues. Not when there was nothing he could do about it.

The past was the past, you just had to learn how to get over yourself.

You couldn’t change what your mother had said over a decade ago.

You worried if you talked about yourself at all then you would be making the situation about you. You worried you would project your anger or sadness onto him. He didn’t deserve that. Plus, it wasn’t like he would be able to do anything, right?

You promised yourself you wouldn’t let him get too close. That if he didn’t get close to you, you couldn’t hurt him.

But damn, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t start developing feelings for him. And from the way he had started acting, you thought maybe he was too.

The hugs that were ever so slightly too tight or when he smiled at you a little longer than normal. He had opened up to you about many things in his past, and from the way he talked about it, you could tell he hadn’t talked about it much with anyone else.

You found comfort in your friendship, the way he trusted you. You liked being there for him, and you were honored that he trusted you enough to open up to you. Yet it also made you uneasy that you would ruin it in some way or drive him out.

The same way your mom drove out your father.

Goddamn it don’t think about her.

The closer you got and the closer you and Bucky had gotten, the more nervous you were. That you would turn out like your mother. You were having a harder time keeping to yourself, keeping up the façade that everything was all bright in your world. You wanted to be a light for everyone.

But at some point, days turn to nights and the light gives way to the darkness.

And you weren’t sure how much time you had left before you cracked.

Bucky had started making small moves towards you, and you were trying your best to deflect them in efforts to not fall flat on your face for him. He came over Wednesday nights for a movie and take out with you, and what started as being on two opposite ends of the couch had moved to being next to each other to him having his arm wrapped around you. Sometimes you felt he was a little too close and you would either shift away or get up to grab another drink or ‘use the bathroom’.

When you came back you would make an attempt to sit a bit further away.

Sometimes when Bucky would say goodbye at the end of the night he would hug you. That was nothing new, you were both big on hugs, but lately, he had been hugging you longer or tighter, lingering a few moments longer than could be platonic. You had started ending the hugs earlier, giving him a small squeeze before pulling away.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be with Bucky. It was that you were so scared that you would drive him away, leaving you as soon as you had started calling yourself his.

Which is what brought you here. Bucky had come over for another one of your movie nights and had his arm behind the couch rather than around you. An invitation for you to curl into his side, but he wanted you to make that choice. Eventually, you had found yourself curled up with him, his arm wrapped around you, and you could feel the tension.

You wanted to move away before you found yourself in too deep, but you couldn’t resist. It had been a long day and you found comfort with Bucky. Bucky turned his face slightly towards yours, kissing the side of your temple and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Your mind told you to shift away, to not let him get too close, but you found yourself turning your head towards Bucky and he leaned forward to kiss you gently.

After a moment you broke away, emotion taking over you. “I’m sorry, Bucky, I - I can’t do this,” you said, resting your forehead against his.

“Why not?” Bucky whispered, looking into your eyes.

Because I’ll hurt you.

I’ll disappoint you.

I’ll drive you away and I can’t lose the best thing that’s happened to me.

You sighed, standing up and moving away from Bucky. You couldn’t say those things to him out loud. Not without the entire story. And you weren’t ready to share all of that with him.

Bucky stood up with you, afraid he had just ruined the friendship or whatever relationship he had with you. “Y/n, wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You had already left the room and couldn’t really hear him over the sound of your thoughts.

This wasn’t supposed to happen

I wasn’t supposed to let this happen

How could I be so stupid?

You were feeling tears in your eyes and Bucky followed you, afraid of what he did. Your breathing was picking up and you had started mumbling some of these things to yourself.

“Y/n, what’s happening, what did I do?”

You shook your head “You didn’t do anything, but I need you to leave, please,” you said, trying to hide your emotions. You hated being like this.

“I’m not going anywhere y/n, just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Get the fuck out of here Bucky! I don’t want your help!” you snapped suddenly, Bucky looking taken aback before your eyes widened.

“Oh god…”

You shook your head and started crying harder, stumbling over your words. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I didn’t mean to yell, I’m so sorry Bucky please don’t leave I'm so sorry.”

Bucky came forward and hugged you gently and you cried into his shirt. He whispered comforting words into your ear as you tried to breathe, embarrassed at how vulnerable you were being.

Bucky kept his breathing slow and even, trying to get you to match him. He had no idea what was happening but he knew he needed you to calm down before he asked. Whatever it was had to be something deep, and you weren’t in the space to talk about it right now.

He brought you over to sit on the corner of your bed, still hugging you as you cried. You were mumbling out apology after apology but Bucky wasn’t having any of it. He kept hugging you, telling you that he wasn’t going anywhere and that you were safe. He had never seen you so upset, or upset at all to begin with.

After you had calmed down a bit, Bucky asked you again what had happened. You shook your head, not knowing what to say.

“I’ve opened up about so many things to you, right?” he pulled back to look at you.

You nodded slightly.

“And you’ve never judged me for any of it.”

You shook your head this time.

“Then why can’t you let me do the same for you?”

You took a deep breath, fiddling with your hands. “I don’t wanna hurt you,” you said, not meeting his eyes.

Bucky drew his eyebrows together, still confused. “Y/n, you’ve been the nicest person I’ve ever met. How would you hurt me?”

You were already shaking your head. “No, see, that’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna be nice and sweet and...and I’m gonna fall in love with you, and you’re gonna fall in love with me. A-and then I’m gonna let you down over and over again and snap at you for things that aren’t your fault and...and you’ll get sick of it and leave and I’m going to hate myself for it, okay?”

“Hey, hey, slow down,” Bucky held your shoulders as they started shaking. You brought a hand to cover your mouth, Bucky hushing you again. “What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?”

You took a shaky breath as you ran a hand over your face. “I’m just like her, Bucky. I told myself I would never let myself be like her…”

“Like who?” Bucky asked, blood already boiling at who made you feel like this.

Her.

You weren’t supposed to think about her.

You promised yourself.

“Y/n, stay with me here,” he said, guiding your face back to look at him. “Who?”

“My mother.”

Bucky looked at you for a moment. “What?”

“You know, mothers bring you into the world. They say a mother knows when something is wrong with their kid, that babies are put on their mother’s chest because the skin-to-skin contact starts the bonding process. They’re supposed to protect you, and love you, and take care of you. But then you start to get older and it’s your fault that you were born when you didn’t ask, or your dad left and it’s your fault before you even knew he was gone. All I wanted was to be told what to do and all she would do is tell me what I did wrong. I can’t be like her and the older I get the more scared I am that I’m going to hurt everyone the way that she hurt my father and me.”

You had started crying again as Bucky looked at you, both broken-hearted and furious that someone would make you feel this way. Not to mention it was your own mother.

You took another shaky breath. “I thought the world of her when I was younger. And she barely even gave me the time of day. I keep telling myself that I’m not what she thought of me, but what if I am?” you shook your head again. “And I am so scared that I’m just like her.”

“Y/n, look at me, I need you to look at me when I say this, okay?” he cupped your face with both hands, wiping away your tears with the pads of his thumbs as he looked into your eyes. “You are nothing like your mother.”

You let out a small sob. “You don’t know her.”

“I don’t need to,” he said firmly. “You are kind and gentle. You work hard and you make sure that everyone is taken care of before you even consider yourself. You aren’t going to scare me away or hurt me.” He wiped fresh tears from your eyes. “You are your own person, your mother has no say in who you get to be. Who you are. You are not your mother, and you never will be.” he said, still holding your gaze.

You held his gaze a little longer, knowing he believed what he was saying. You didn’t, not quite yet, but maybe if he believed in you, you could too. You nodded slightly, giving him the smallest of smiles. “Thank you.”

Bucky returned the small smile. “You know I love you, right?”

“I love you too,” you said, smiling.

You meant it, and you knew he did too. And maybe one day, you would love who you’d become too.

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tags: @babydaddy-buckybarnes @buckys-blue-eyes @buckys2thicc @broadwaybabe18 @peggycarter-steverogers @im-sick-of-failing @barnesplums @bucks-bunny @mardema @abitgryffindorky @freigeistundanderes @thatfangirl42 @strawberrimae @sup--ernova

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gerec · 3 years ago

Text

Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2021

I thought I would wait until after Secret Mutant Reveals to post this but I think I'll just do a separate post! Anyway, these are my personal faves of 2021!!!

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and we can be pirates by faerie_ground

“Kitty,” Charles says reasonably, “it can’t be that bad, can it?”

“DEFCON FIVE, CHARLES!” Kitty screams into the receiver, temporarily deafening Charles, before cutting the call.

Or Erik is the very scary CEO of his successful business and Charles is his childhood best friend who's the only one who can calm him down.

Playing House by ClarkeStetler, Goosenik

Erik Lehnsherr has been 'fighting for mutant rights' for the last couple years. Some might call it terrorism, but those people were narrow-minded. Unfortunately, this means that when Magda Maximoff died, no one was able to locate him to let him know that his children were without a guardian. Charles Xavier was selected as their foster parent instead, and had been doing an excellent job for the past year. Erik is back now and has no intention of being separated from his children, but working together for the kids is easier said than done.

A River Casts No Shadow by kianspo

This is a coda to the Marriage Bargain, and it takes place over 70 years after the events of the main fic. Charles and Erik's children, most notably David, reflect on the true nature of their parents' feelings for each other and learn to let go.

invisible string by soetry (WIP)

“We’re just raising a child together,” Erik snapped. “Relax about it.”

in which charles xavier and erik lehnsherr were political opponents until they had to become allies until they horrifically became best friends and then accepted being awesome co-dads and everyone needs to calm down about it. especially them themselves.

Until You Make It by AndreaDTX

Erik Lehnsherr, the junior senator from New York, is a once-in-a-generation political wunderkind. There are even murmurs of a potential bid for President. But at 34, as a young, unmated Alpha, even his most fervent supporters are wary. Finding a bondmate would give him a far greater air of credibility. But dating as a well-known politician is public relations nightmare waiting to happen with no guarantee of finding the right person. Raven, Erik’s campaign manager, has a solution: her brother, Charles Xavier.

Charles has finally found his niche, researching genetic mutations in relative anonymity. Then he gets a call from his sister asking an impossibly huge favor. He's the ideal politician’s mate, but having fled that life years ago, he has little interest in politics or returning to the pretentious, exclusionary upper echelon he loathed during his childhood.

When the two finally meet, sparks immediately fly, making it the perfect pairing of convenience. But it’s more than a question of chemistry. They have to survive the media, the tabloids, and the political opponents who’d love nothing more than to take them down.

Practically Magic by lachatblanche (WIP)

The Xaviers, it was clear, were witches, and witches, the stern mothers of Graymalkin Lane told their wide-eyed children, were most definitely to be avoided.

Charles and Raven Xavier grow up knowing they are different from the people around them. For a long time they just have each other and that's enough. But being different can be a lonely thing - and sometimes, it also brings trouble.

An AU loosely based on Practical Magic.

sweetness by Anonymous

For days, Erik and Charles have been dancing around the fact that they both find Charles's breastfeeding extremely arousing. Tonight all that sexual tension finally comes to a head.

Difference Between Ordeal and Adventure by UisceOneLove

After getting screwed over --again-- by Creed, Logan needs a getaway.

He didn't anticipate having a passenger in his escape. Not an attractive one, for damn sure.

The Wurst Case Scenario by sareyen

If anyone asked why Charles, come rain, wind or shine, made the significant trek during his dismal lunch hour to dine at "Edie's Kosher Delicatessen", he would stubbornly say that it was because their pastrami on rye and potato knishes were absolutely to die for. He wasn't completely lying, because the deli's namesake, Edie Lehnsherr, made the best matzah ball soup Charles has ever had in his life. Still, Charles would rather shave his full head of hair off than admit that the real reason he would willingly walk through hail and fire to get to the corner deli was because of Erik, the insanely attractive man working the counter.

Sure, Erik has barely spoken two words to Charles other than "Hello, what can I get you?" or, after the third day in a row that Charles came to the deli, "Welcome back, what can I get you?", but Charles was more than happy to just ogle at the man from afar while devouring the juicy wurst Erik had put together with his (large and very capable) hands.

But, little does Charles know, Erik doesn't usually work the front counter. He only does it when he knows the cute blue-eyed man will be dining in.

the things you love don't last by faerie_ground

Charles Xavier's marriage crumbles around him. He can do nothing but watch.

The First Move by TurtleTotem Charles and Erik live together now, in Genosha. They get up together, spend the day together. And then... go to sleep in their separate beds.

Charles is going quietly crazy.

I thought you already knew by winter_hiems

“Wanda… did our dad… boink Professor X?” Wanda took a sip from her mug of coffee. “Pietro, our dad is still fucking Professor X. I thought you already knew. Literally everyone knows.” - Pietro finds out about his father and Charles Xavier. Apparently everyone else already knew.

when he walks in (i am loved, i am loved) by humanveil

In which Erik is shoehorned into attending the annual business party, and accidentally mistakes his boss’ Very Attractive date as an escort. It’s not as if Tony doesn’t have a history.

serendipity by intentation

Charles runs into his professor at a sex club. How can he possibly resist?

Of Crabs and Castles by flightinflame

Charles and Erik take their children to the beach. Wanda builds a sandcastle, Nina makes some friends, and Pietro gets some exercise. Some family fun in the sunshine.

Krakoa is for two very specific mutants by Sotano (series)

Behind the panels of House of X/Dawn of X. Everything historical mentioned is more or less canon, synthesized. A new nation is being born. Two of its founders are enjoying the chance to be on the same side. They're learning what mutant society was meant to be, and it seems like the answer is very gay.

Yule Ball, Sick Day, and Other Stories by kianspo

This is a collection of Cherik ficlets I have posted here and there on Tumblr over the years. Different universes, different takes on relationship, etc.

#gerec rambles #gerec's fic rec #2021 favorites #cherik #xavierine #2021 #long post #fic rec #xmfc #comics

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multiplefandomfics · 3 years ago

Text

Relations

Pairing: Bucky x Stark!reader

Warnings: angst, soft smut, fluff, fighting

Words: 2862

“Y/N? Where are you?” no response.

“Friday? Would you be so kind as to tell me where my little sister is running around?”

“Of course, boss. She is currently sitting in the garden, reading a book.”

“Thanks Friday.”

Tony headed out to talk to his sister.

“There you are. Please come inside. We have to talk.”

“Alright. I’m coming.” you smiled up at your big brother.

He was everything to you. Y/N had been born in 1990 and had not exactly been planned. A year later your parents had died and Tony was left alone with an infant. Fortunately he was wealthy enough to have nannies looking after you as long as he was still in college.

But the time you did spend together was thoroughly enjoyed. Everytime he was home he took you to the zoo, swimming or you just celebrated your lives.

All in all Tony Stark was the best brother anyone could have wanted.

Then he was kidnapped and became Iron Man. And Y/N was in the middle of it all. Tony tried to keep you away from it all but that didn’t work very well. You had begged him time and time again to make a suit for you too but he refused. Fortunately you were as technically talented as he was, copied Tony’s files for his suit, made some modifications and built it.

Yours was purple and silver instead of red and gold and it had some other nice gadgets which would probably prove useful.

When you took the first flying test outside the tower you didn’t really care that you were probably going to get caught.

And of course the moment you landed again Tony busted you.

“Y/N. What were you thinking? You could have gotten hurt.” he was worried.

“But I didn’t. You really have very little trust in my abilities. I flew didn’t I? And I used your plans and software. I even have Friday on my ears at all times.” you rolled your eyes at your brother.

“I can’t decide if I should be angry or proud.” he muttered. “I trust you and your skills but please let me ease my conscience and have a look over your work before you go flying again.” he asked.

“Alright, if that calms you down, sure.” you smiled and hugged your brother.

“So what is this about?” you asked him.

“I am throwing a party tonight to celebrate taking down the hydra base and recovering the scepter.” he beamed.

“And I am invited?”

“Of course. Wear something nice.” he instructed and left you alone in the entryway.

Y/N prepared half the afternoon for the spectacle and looked your best when evening rolled around. You hung at the bar with Natasha and Bruce, let Thor and Rhodey tell their war stories and sat around the table while everyone tried to lift Mjölnir and failed miserably.

Then suddenly a mangled Iron legion droid came walking through the door saying strange stuff and ending up attacking everyone. You were just so able to jump behind the bar and duck down. After that you promised yourself that you would never feel that helpless again. You wanted to be in the thick of it all.

When the dust settled everyone was really confused. The peacekeeping program Ultron had “killed” Jarvis and taken off into the world wide web.

“What did just happen?” Rhodey asked while Thor was on the way searching for Ultron.

After a battle with Ultron and the Maximoff twins, where everyone seemed to have lost their minds at one point or another and the Hulk destroying half a town while Tony tried to stop him, you made it out alive and had to disappear and landed with Clint’s family.

You stayed there for a while and then left for Seol to retrieve the crate with the human print inside.

In the end you had a new addition to the team and a devastating fight against machines in Sokovia.

Everyone was upset after that. Sokovia was destroyed, many civilians had died and Hulk was MIA. Thor left too to shine some light onto the appearances of the infinity stones.

You stayed at the newly built compound to start your official training with Vision, Wanda and Sam.

Some time later things escalated in Lagos with Rumlow and a biological weapon. After that everyone was suddenly afraid of Wanda although she was just as scared.

A day later you were walking through the hallways, passing some office and conference rooms on your way to the gym. You were lost in thought when you heard your brother's voice. At first you wanted to storm in and surprise him but then you heard him talking.

“She isn’t actually my sister, Steve. She’s my daughter. Y/N is my daughter. I’ve never told anyone before I couldn’t-” the rest was not heard by Y/N because you had dropped your towel and run towards your room.

The next few days you just couldn’t face your father. That was so strange to think. You never said it out loud. Y/N felt so betrayed. Why did he never tell you? Of course he had been relatively young when you were born but he still could have been honest with you. Did he not want to be seen as your father? Were you such a disappointment? And over all of that stood the question after your mother. Who was she? What happened to her? Why did she not want to meet you? All those thoughts rushed through your brain and you couldn’t stop the nagging feeling that Tony didn’t want to admit the truth to you because you weren’t worth it.

The bad thoughts did not leave you alone anymore. You had nightmares and isolated yourself from everyone during the days.

Although everyone was constantly asking you what was wrong, you couldn’t tell them.

Until the day Natasha and Pepper waltzed into your room, overriding Friday’s authority.

“Hey Y/N. We noticed that you have been by yourself a lot lately, not letting anyone in anymore. So tell us, what is going on with you? You know you can trust us.” Pepper added the last part after seeing you hesitating. And finally you caved in.

“I overheard Tony and Steve talk a few days ago. He said something I need time to process for.”

“What did he say that shocked you so much?” Nat asked.

“All my life I thought he was my brother. He’s been my rock. We went through thick and thin and then I find out that he lied to me all these years.”

“What do you mean he’s not your brother?” Nat pressed further.

“He told Steve that he’s actually my father.” the girls looked at you dumbfounded and it got eerie quiet.

“You sure you heard that right?”

“Of course I am sure. I’m not deaf!” you said a little enraged.

“And I gather you have not talked to him about it yet, have you?” Pepper had a calming nature especially when she put her hand on Y/N arm.

“No I haven’t. I couldn’t. What if it is somehow my fault that he didn’t tell me? What if he doesn’t consider me good enough to be his daughter?” you started to sob quietly.

“Hey, look at me Y/N. If anything it is the other way around. Under all that confident exterior he is actually very insecure and I am sure that he just didn’t want you to be disappointed to have him as a father.” Pepper ensured you.

“You really think so?” you sniffed looking up at her.

“I do. You should talk to him.” she encouraged you.

“Maybe I should tell him that I know and see how he reacts.”

But before you could go forward with your plan Friday alerted you and Nat to come to the conference room because the Secretary of defense had arrived to talk about something

The fights in Sokovia and Lagos had been PR nightmares and the government and the UN did not want to stand by anymore. The Avengers had to bow to the law and sign the Sokovia accords or they would be forced to retire. They were given a few days to think about it and talk this through.

After long discussions the team split in two. Which led to the situation at hand.

Your dad had grounded you together with Wanda after you had voiced your opinion that you thought Steve was right. Well, when Clint came to pick up Wanda you stuck to them and flew to Germany. Steve was kinda surprised when he saw you get out of the car at the airport but he thought you were old enough to make your own decisions.

Well, it ended in a really bad fight in the middle of the runway. In the end you made it out with Steve and Bucky and flew to Siberia under Steve's protest.

“So you’ve been Steve’s friend since childhood, hm?” you asked Bucky while still in the air.

“Yep. Known him forever. And you are Stark’s kid?” he asked back.

“So Steve told you. Yes it seems to be true although my whole life I thought he was my big brother. He lied to me so I’m not very happy with him at the moment. Kicking his ass has been a nice change for once.” you smiled at Bucky sadistically.

“You are a sick little thing, doll!” he laughed out loud.

You landed not much later but you had to admit the crush that had already developed towards Bucky.

And then Zemo happened and that stupid tape.

Were you the only one wondering why the hell there was a security camera in the middle of nowhere on an abandoned street exactly at that point where your grandparents car was forced to crash? And all that in the early 90’s?

Tony did not want to think rationally at that point so he started a fight against Steve and Bucky. You stood by. Too in shock to do anything. The only thing you knew was that it was not Bucky’s fault your grandparents had died but hydras.

You snapped out of your trance when Tony shot Bucky’s arm off. Then it was your moment to jump between your dad and Steve.

“Stop it, dad! Think for one moment!” he was startled for a moment because he wasn’t used to hearing you say that.

“You know?” he asked and his helmet slid back.

“Yes, I do. I overheard you and Steve the other day.” you spoke silently. “Sorry I did not talk about this with you earlier but I was just so upset about the fact that you didn’t tell me. Am I such a disappointment that you thought I wasn’t good enough to be your daughter?” you asked him with tears in your eyes.

“What? Of course not! You, Y/N, are the best thing that has ever happened to me. It was me who felt not man enough to be your dad. In the beginning when you suddenly appeared on my doorstep I panicked and thought I could have never lived up to the responsibility of a father. So I became your fun big brother to save you and me from disappointment. At some point I just felt that I had missed the point of telling you without the fear of consequences. So I stuck with the lie. I never meant to hurt you and I hope you can forgive me. I love you so much.”

That explanation was enough for you to jump into your fathers arms and hug him close.

“I love you 3000, dad. And can we now please get out of here? Bucky doesn’t deserve to die. Can you maybe see that he was controlled and hates himself as much for what Hydra made him do as you hate him? He is actually a really nice guy and like a brother to Steve and you know Steve, would he have bad friends? Also Buck needs help, physical and psychological. So please dad let us help him. He’s a war hero after all.” you finished your plaidoyer.

Your dad just stared at you but in the end took a deep breath and said: “let’s get home. I can’t do anything here.”

Outside you met King T’Challa who was holding Zemo in his grasp. He was gonna bring him to the CIA and then fly home to bury his father. He also promised to help with Bucky’s recovery because Wakanda had the most advanced technology to heal anything.

For months you stayed in Wakanda, which was pretty beautiful by the way, to maybe help Bucky recover step by step.

That’s also how you became close. You went for walks and to his therapy sessions together. The latter also because you thought you could use some talking about your life too.

At first he had wanted to go back into cryo but you had convinced him that that wasn’t necessary. In the beginning your dad had called you everyday to check in but he had stopped after a particularly annoyed outburst on your side.

“Bucky you alright?” you asked him one night after he had come home from his private session with Ayo.

When you saw his face you noticed the big tears leaking down his face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” you asked scared this time.

Without saying a word he just walked up to you hugging you close to his chest and kissing you intently.

“You know how much I love you, right?” he whispered.

“Of course. but what happened with Ayo that has you this shaken?” you were persistent.

“I’m free, baby. She said all the trigger words and nothing happened. I’m free.” he repeated as if not believing it himself yet.

You started crying, too at that moment. You knew how much that meant to him, hell how much it meant to you. He had full control of his life back.

“I’m so proud of you babe. You deserve this so much. The past is finally behind you and we can start into a new future.”

“I love you.” he whispered into your hair and started kissing down your neck.

“Oh, okay. So that’s where you are going. Hmm, I like that. But let’s go inside first.”

You pushed him backwards until you reached the hut and inside your bed. You pushed him down and straddled his lap. He grabbed the seams of your blouse and tore it down the middle so the buttons flew in every direction.

“Someone is needy, hm?” you whispered while grinding down on his boner.

“Need you so bad.” he murmured

“You know I would give you everything. Come and take what you want. I swear I won’t break.” you kissed him intensely again before he threw you around and you landed with your back on the mattress.

The next thing he did was rid you both of your clothing. The look on his face was absolutely feral.

“Need to breed you baby. Fuck a baby in you.” he groaned and your pussy clenched around nothing.

“Gotta prepare you first.” he slurred just as he pushed a finger into your dripping wet cunt.

And the moment his tongue touched your aching clit you came with a cry. But he didn’t stop there. No. He kept on flicking your nub with his tongue and added a second finger to stretch your walls for his girth.

“Getting you nice and wet, baby.” he moaned. When he hit that particular spot you arched your back and pushed your pussy further into his face. It didn’t take long for you to come again. You drenched his face in your juices which he happily licked off of his face.

He climbed up your body and on the way nipped at your breasts and left hickies on your neck.

“I can’t hold on any longer. Gotta be inside you.” those words were the last warning before he breached your entrance and pushed his massive length inside your tight channel.

“Oh, fuck Bucky. So big. Shit.” you moaned loudly which seemed to spur him on.

He pummeled into you with all the force he could muster.

His blissed out face was all you ever wanted to see again.

His rhythm got erratic. You put your hand in his hair and coaxed him “Let go baby. We’ll be fine. I love you so much.”

That was all it took for him to lose it and he spilled deep inside you.

He collapsed on top of you and then rolled to the side, not to crush you. You winced when he pulled out.

“That was amazing.” you breathed out. “Yeah. Best sex I ever had.” he agreed.

You two lovebirds spent 6 more weeks in Wakanda. Then Bucky got his vibranium arm and you left Wakanda to go back to New York. No matter what you told yourself, you did miss your dad.

But you definitely promised to come back every time you got the chance.

#marvel #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #Steve Rogers #tony stark #fluff #fanfic #Smut #angst #wakanda #age of ultron #civil war #multi fandom

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tssidesfics · 3 years ago

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TSSides Anti-Fairytale AU

I’m not coming for fairytales. They have their place, but as an aromantic person...I do not feel seen. And then I decided to re-watch Enchanted (pirated, of course, because fuck Disney). And then this idea happened.

Patton was a child-king who married his best friend when forced to, and then she died in childbirth. He’s given Roman everything he could, but he’s lived his life dictated by the advisors who’ve used him as a puppet king his whole rule. He’s miserable because he doesn’t like how the system functions but he thinks he’s chained to tradition.

Roman copes with his complicated relationship with his father by questing and almost dying, like, every other week. Anxious attachment for days. Boy keeps trying very hard to find a princess and can’t seem to figure out why nothing will stick. To which Patton goes “oh. He got it from me. Oops.”

All I know is Remus is aromantic and aplatonic and exactly as chaotic as he should be.

Roman’s birthday. Ball. The classic. He greets all the noble families and he’s seen those losers a bunch before, but this time, he meets a new “girl” with a family he usually hates who intrigues him. He is not a girl and I will not be misgendering him because ew, but, gist: Virgil, transphobic rich parents forcing him to conform to gender roles, absolutely miserable, in Peak Bitch (gender-neutral) form. Roman mistakenly believes he’s cured and talks Virgil up a lot. Convinces himself he’s fallen madly in love.

Problem is, he tells Patton, who’s shocked he found a “girl” but absolutely is on-board, and then goes to the family to ask for Virgil’s hand and there’s no Virgil.

Thus begins the Mulan ripoff but openly trans where Virgil poses as a boy servant at the castle because his parents can’t get into the castle willy-nilly and it’s the safest place to be. Absolutely loathes Roman’s very existence because that dumb bitch flirted with him while he was a girl and therefore VIrgil thinks he is The WorstTM. Then Roman catches him grouching about and decides to solve this by teaching him sword-play, mostly to give him the excuse to beat on a dummy with a sword-shaped stick.

Meanwhile Roman is just le sigh I did it again. I connected more with a boy than a girl. Why did she have to run away? Now I’m doomed to be weird.

Well then assassins break into the castle and Ever-Paranoid Virgil immediately susses them out as bad news and uses the remnants of the ball to absolutely wreck them when they try to kill Roman and his father while they’re taking a rare opportunity to chat and bond. Patton decides he is Adopting This Child, fuck you, advisors, he’s as thin as a stick, and Virgil now gets to eat with the royal family.

It’s the first time Patton has ever actually told his advisors to go fuck themselves. It’s the first step toward a positive turnaround and it happened because Patton’s dad instincts took over and nothing in the world is more valid than that, fight me.

Enter genderqueer icon morally neutral witch, Janus, all pronouns, who’s trying to topple the monarchy to enact lasting change and didn’t want to dirty her hands right away, but honestly people are so unreliable. So he gets onto Patton’s crew as a handmaiden and excuse you who gave the king permission to be actually endearing?

Roman feels slightly weird because Patton’s calling Virgil “kiddo” and he’s not calling him his son but he also treats him very similarly as he does to Roman and Remus, which isn’t great but is significantly better than it could be, but Roman’s got a crush.

Then Janus finds out Virgil’s trans and reveals this. Virgil thinks he’s about to get blackmailed into murdering the only people who have ever cared about him and then Janus just rolls their eyes like “excuse you I’m evil not psychopathic. I can give you a potion to make your body reflect your mind. You in?”

“Great, so my only cure to stop feeling like frozen trash reheated in a forest fire is to accept the highly dangerous bribe of a definitely evil witch! Thanks! I hate it!”

Yes Virgil memes even in a fantasy world where Tumblr doesn’t exist.

Also Virgil and Roman are bonding. A lot. They’re getting very close and Virgil even lets slip that he loves Roman and then tries to fling himself out a window. Roman gets touched, stops him, and tries to kiss him, but Virgil leans away. Roman expresses confusion.

“I...I love you, but I don’t want to kiss you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. But I’ve...never wanted to kiss anyone. For any reason.”

“But...you still love me?”

“I do. I’m sorry.”

Roman...doesn’t feel as rejected as he thinks he maybe should? Honestly, it’s not totally a relief, but it’s just kinda...neutral. It’s not even a disappointment.

Well, Janus is not evil and actually wants to run a kingdom (instating a committee mixed of educated rich fucks and working class receiving education) a whole lot more than Patton, who thinks she’s just...kinda awesome and very misunderstood. There’s a lot of hissing and grumbling that they’re not misunderstood, they’re evil, they don’t even have a tragic backstory, they just kill people to enact the change they want to see, just because they got ditched in a forest as a baby and was raised by a magic snake means nothing. The snake was a very loving and supportive parent.

Roman talks to Patton and Patton is like “fuck marriage rules. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck my advisors. My kingdom is a haven for the gays. All the gays. Of every color. Come here and be merry and queer.”

Virgil’s just like “yo no reason but in this new world where it’s okay to love whatever gender is it maybe cool to be a boy when the world says you’re a girl?”

Janus draws a knife and glares at Patton and Patton’s just like “even if my partner wasn’t threatening to kill me I’d say it was fine why?”

“No reason.”

“Virgil.”

“What?”

“Is there something you want to share?”

“No.”

“Is there something you need to share?”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re being defensive again, Storm Grouch.”

Virgil sticks his tongue out. “Fine. People used to think I was a girl and I have a stupid body. Happy?”

And Patton learns from Janus the fine art of Validating The Fuck Out Of Gender.

The advisors stage a coop and lock Janus in an anti-magic cage, and then at the same time Virgil’s biological nightmares track him down and steal a spelled green apple from Janus’ shop they give Virgil. You know the drill. Deep sleep like death, yadda yadda.

Well, they immediately claim the body making a big dramatic deal about how they have to bury “her” and they’ll take “her” home to see her off and it’s so tragic, just as they were reunited, when the reality is they have the antidote back home, they’re just looking for control over his life again.

Except Roman goes off. “He is staying here where he--where he will be buried under the name Virgil dressed properly and if you came anywhere near his body I’ll kill you myself.”

Guess what constitutes a totally platonic, non-kiss related act of queerplatonic true love, bitch? Fighting your transphobic partner’s parents over their dead body.

Kingdom’s retaken, sweeping reform while Patton retires to be a stay at home dad to fix his relationship with his kids. Virgil gets formerly adopted. The stepparent is actually a morally neutral genderqueer witch who runs the kingdom fairly and justly, the central love story is trans and aromantic, and my queer ass is something resembling happy.

Logan is probably one of the advisors and the only one with sense who probably starts knocking off his coworkers after the coop because they’re all deeply, deeply stupid. Remus probably spends half the story making friends with a troll he brings in to save the day in the third act.

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hamliet · 4 years ago

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Unless a Grain of Wheat Falls and It Dies...

Or, why I am pretty optimistic about the fates of Jean, Connie, Gabi, and all titanized people this chapter, which is also an excuse for me to talk about SnK’s allusions to Russian literature.

There are strikingly parallel ideas The Brothers Karamazov and Attack on Titan, as well as parallel plot points and imagery to the point where if it isn’t deliberate, it’s uncanny. (NB: before people yell at me about comparing a Japanese and Russian work, Isayama has used Russian names since the start of SnK--Shiganshina is a Russian name.) In particular, there are narrative allusions to a portion of the novel known as “The Grand Inquisitor,” which is a short story within a novel. The central thesis of “The Grand Inquisitor” is as follows:

nothing has ever been more insupportable for a man and a human society than freedom.

This parable is told within the story by Ivan Karamazov, a character whose intellectuality is his gift and his curse. He tells his brother Alyosha that the motivation for creating this parable is precisely the evils done to children (oh look, a major SnK theme) and specifically cites an example which was unfortunately taken from real life in Russia and which Isayama has an uncanny parallel:

I want to see with my own eyes the hind lie down with the lion and the victim rise up and embrace his murderer. I want to be there when every one suddenly understands what it has all been for. All the religions of the world are built on this longing, and I am a believer. But then there are the children, and what am I to do about them? That's a question I can't answer... If all must suffer to pay for the eternal harmony, what have children to do with it, tell me, please? ... if it is really true that they must share responsibility for all their fathers' crimes, such a truth is not of this world and is beyond my comprehension. Some jester will say, perhaps, that the child would have grown up and have sinned, but you see he didn't grow up, he was torn to pieces by the dogs, at eight years old...

... How are you going to atone for them? Is it possible? ... What do I care for a hell for oppressors? What good can hell do, since those children have already been tortured? ... I want to forgive. I want to embrace. I don't want more suffering. And if the sufferings of children go to swell the sum of sufferings which was necessary to pay for truth, then I protest that the truth is not worth such a price. ... too high a price is asked for harmony; it's beyond our means to pay so much to enter on it... It's not God that I don't accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return Him the ticket.”

The actual parable of “The Grand Inquisitor” is Ivan’s answer to Alyosha’s question about Ivan’s lines above. Ivan tells a story about how freedom is actually what dooms humanity: it is the curse. (Alyosha does not believe this.) Jesus comes back to earth and is promptly arrested, because his existence and return threaten the wellbeing of society. To be happy, one cannot be free, but one or two strong people in society should be free and bear the burden for everyone else (you can see the parallels to King Fritz/the Reisses).

Nothing is more seductive for man than his freedom of conscience, but nothing is a greater cause of suffering... all his life he loved humanity, and suddenly his eyes were opened, and he saw that it is no great moral blessedness to attain perfection and freedom, if at the same time one gains the conviction that millions of God's creatures have been created as a mockery, that they will never be capable of using their freedom...

This is SnK’s thesis: to be free, there will be suffering. It is part of human nature, and yet to not have it is to be lost. But SnK, despite its explorations of human darkness and monstrosity, has a higher view of humanity than does Ivan. SnK’s view is more alongside Alyosha’s, who says what is honestly the truth about not just the Reisses, but Eren now:

"Who are these keepers of the mystery who have taken some curse upon themselves for the happiness of mankind? .... It's simple lust of power, of filthy earthly gain, of domination—something like a universal serfdom with them as masters—that's all they stand for.”

Mikasa is akin to the Christ figure in the story, akin to Alyosha: Christ is constantly asked to speak, asked to act, and he does not until the very last moment, when he kisses the Grand Inquisitor on the lips. After the story is over, Alyosha then does likewise to Ivan.

Not to mention when Alyosha worries about Ivan’s mental state, he then answers with this:

“Listen, Alyosha,” Ivan began in a resolute voice, “if I am really able to care for the sticky little leaves I shall only love them, remembering you. It's enough for me that you are somewhere here, and I shan't lose my desire for life yet.”

A simple leaf can save a life. A leaf can save the world. A leaf, grown from a tree that started as a seed falling to the ground, dead, only to grow life from that death. Alyosha himself notes SnK’s central thesis of chapter 137 in the (very long) novel’s final pages:

...some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If a man carries many such memories with him into life, he is safe to the end of his days, and if one has only one good memory left in one's heart, even that may sometime be the means of saving us.

There’s a lot more to this, but this is the epigraph to The Brothers Karamazov, the central thesis of the entire novel:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." -John 12:24

Suffering can grow great fruit in an individual life, and by giving something up, by even death, something beautiful can come. Through cruelty, you can find life.

This is not just a long-running theme in SnK, but a pattern in its plot. Often those who surrender then receive exactly what they had surrendered (but admittedly, not always, like Erwin).

Mikasa accepted Eren’s loss, and got him back.

Mikasa let Armin go, and got him back.

Falco gave up hope of survival, and got another chance:

Hange was going to die alone, feeling guilty for having failed her comrades, but saw everyone again, and they told her well done:

Historia gave up being free, but now we know she will be.

Levi gave up on his revenge, and then got it. Annie thought she would never see her dad again, but she did. For Mikasa, accepting that she has to kill the boy she loves coincides not just with her acceptance of her love, but with the acceptance and knowledge that he loves her:

It always comes with sacrifice, increasingly hard sacrifice, but usually the seeds that are dropped grow and bloom.

This chapter, everyone surrendered their hearts. They let their dreams fall to the ground, and I honestly think the story will allow it to plant life. Yes, the world as a whole is saved and that is enough to make thematic sense, but it works even better if the very people who were titanized this chapter also bloom again. They chose to trust Mikasa, Levi, Falco, and Pieck to finish the task.

The characters giving up their lives only to get them back make sense, and give Mikasa’s sacrifice of Eren. For Mikasa, Eren was her world, and she gave it up when she had lost everyone else. She had nothing left, and she still did it. I would hope she’d be narratively rewarded beyond just the world being saved, because Mikasa has always been motivated by her personal relationships.

Moving on from Mikasa: Connie’s mom has been kept alive and the concept of turning mindless titans back to humans was already brought up specifically in relation to her:

Connie giving up on his mother a dozenish chapters ago only to get her back now--not through sacrificing a child, but through saving the entire world--would fit the themes and patterns of SnK.

Thirdly, Gabi should not die. She’s Eren with positive development, and cannot meet the same end. Even people who are skeptical of every titan being saved seem to agree that she’ll be fine. It’s possible she’s the only one saved, but imo, not likely.

See, the only shifter characters who are going to have the option of self-sacrifice are Falco and maaaaaybe Armin. The others look like they’re about to die right here and now, never mind choosing someone to save: the mindless titans are ripping at their napes. Armin also looks to be in bad shape.

Yet Armin cannot narratively commit suicide; two chapters ago he was still screaming at himself for being useless and thinking he would be better off dead. He’s already tried the heroic sacrifice, too, so why would it work this time around? It does not work for his arc. Falco dying for Gabi was the plan without any freedom from the titan curse; it’s more powerful if ending the curse changes things, rather than forcing him to make the same choice that Reiner has always been trying to make: a heroic suicide. It could happen; it’s just not as narratively strong.

As for whether the worldbuilding rules, we know that mindless titans are not truly dead nor entirely mindless; they just don’t have freedom. Ymir’s case of getting herself back after decades shows that they aren’t quite dead or absorbed. They still have consciousness that can be awoken; Ymir described it as being in a long “nightmare.” Dina still went looking for Grisha. Connie’s mom remembered and recognized Connie, telling him “welcome home.” There is plenty of evidence that there are parts of these people that are still in there even if they are forced to become monsters (oh hey, it’s an Eren parallel; he was conscious of it and had choices while mindless titans do not, but the parallel remains).

#snk 138 #snk meta #aot 138 #aot meta #mikasa ackerman #eremika #eren jaeger #armin arlert #the brothers karamazov #gabi braun #connie springer #jean kirchstein #ymir #falco grice #galco #reiner braun #annie leonhart #levi ackerman #historia reiss

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babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

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Nemesis (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Can I request a Spencer x reader where they’re dating and she’s always been quiet about her past but then a case comes up in her hometown and her whole past gets uncovered and it’s pretty bad. That’s when they realize why she had been acting like that.

Summary: A case takes the team back to Seattle, (Y/N)’s hometown, only to discover her past was darker than they had ever imagined.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Reader

Warnings: This one is dark. Angst, bloody crime details, Criminal Mind usual content, fluff at the end ‘cos I can’t help it. Also, cursing but that’s just how I roll.

Word count: 2,7K

Masterlist

It was obvious there was something wrong with (Y/N). Spencer could see it clearly, though she kept telling him everything was ok. It was easy to read her after working together for five years and dating the last two.

Reid knew he shouldn’t profiler his girlfriend, but he couldn’t help it when he saw the painful expression on her face. She tried to smile when she noticed he was looking at her, but that just made it worse ‘cos now he was sure there was something awfully wrong with her.

She wasn’t like that when they woke up. She had spent the night over in his apartment, and she looked happy. She made hotcakes for breakfast, and they laughed the whole way to Quantico, talking about the movie they had seen the night before.

But everything changed the second they received the information of the serial killer they had to catch.

When Garcia presented the case, Spencer noticed how his girlfriend’s face turned white. She didn’t even look at the pictures of the crime scenes. (Y/N) fixed her eyes on her notebook on the table and crossed her arms on her chest. She didn’t speak during the briefing, just bite her lips and the inside of her cheeks the whole time.

- “Today, my dear furry friends, you will be flying to (Y/N) ’s hometown, rainy Seattle, for a case that will give me nightmares for the rest week, so I refuse to look at the screen”

(Y/N) held her breath and stayed as still as possible on her chair.

- “The unsub is targeting couples in their late thirties. He stabs them to death in their bed, places the bodies as if they were asleep, and forces the kids to lay between them. Then, he locks them in the house until they manage to escape”.

Hotch sighed and looked at the team. Family-related cases always were the hardest for him and J.J. Especially when there were kids involved.

- “The police department asked for our help because they think it might be related to four unsolved murders that took place in Seattle back in the nineties”-

Garcia finished. Hotch stood up and announced, “wheels up in twenty”, and everybody left the room. Everybody but (Y/N), who couldn’t move.

- “Hey… are you ok?”- Spencer stood in front of her chair and held her hands. She just nodded and tried her best to smile.

- “I’m just tired, honey, that’s all. It’s been a long week”.

- “You can tell me if there’s anything wrong, buttercup, you know that”- she tried to smile and stood up. Spencer cupped her face with both hands and kissed her lips sweetly.

(Y/N) held her breath for a few seconds, making her best not to cry. When he looked at her, she cut him a small smile, trying to show him everything was ok.

Of course, it was not.

Neither Spencer nor anyone in the BAU knew (Y/N) ’s secret. She didn’t want to share it with anyone ‘cos it meant everybody would pity her, and she couldn’t handle that. She couldn’t deal with people looking at her like she was a victim. She hated it when it happened back in her hometown, and she knew she couldn’t handle it if their BAU family looked at her like that.

That case hurt her deeper than she could ever explain, and she wasn’t sure she could keep the secret that was killing her alive for much longer.

During the trip, she barely looked at the files. Spencer sat next to her, trying to comfort her. He knew she wouldn’t tell him what was happening, but he wanted to be by her side. He wanted her to know he was there for her, no matter what.

(Y/N) knew that, but of all people, he was the last one she wanted to share her secret with. She was too embarrassed and too scared he could run away. She was also too damaged, and she had, somehow, managed to cover her wounds for all those years.

But now, everything was collapsing, and she knew it could only get worse from there.

- “Morgan, you and Reid talk with the forensic. We need every detail on the killer’s M.O.”- Hotch said as soon as they landed in Seattle- “(Y/N), you and Prentiss talk with the family of the latest victims. JJ, Rossi, we will speak with the police chief and see the previous investigation files”.

(Y/N)’ s heart stopped for a second. She held her folder fight and nodded, making her best not to show her whole body started shaking.

Spencer could read it, (Y/N) was hiding something, and it wasn’t something good. He leaned in and kissed her temple and held her hand tight.

- “Do you want me to go with you? I can ask Hotch…”

- “No, honey”- she whispered, shaking her head- “I’m ok”

- “Sure”- she nodded and pecked his lips- “I’ll see you back at the police station, ok?”

Prentiss was doing all the talking. (Y/N) could barely breathe in that interview. A thirteen years old little girl sat on a couch, nearly crying, holding her grandmother’s hand tight, as if her life depended on it.

-” I know this is hard, and you are doing great, Kristy. I need you to close your eyes and tell me, what do you remember of that night”.

Without even notice, (Y/N) did the same.

- “Mom and dad stayed up after I went to bed. I heard them talking in the kitchen when I went to the bathroom”

- “What time was it?”- Prentiss whispered

- “Eleven… eleven-thirty”

- “And do you remember anything odd? anything that didn’t look right?”- Kristy stayed in silence. You could tell she was doing her best to remember.

- “The neighbor’s dog was barking“

- “Ok, good”- Prentiss praised- “You are doing great, anything else? A smell, a noise?”

- “I heard something in the closet in the hall, like… like someone was chuckling, so I got scared and ran back to my room”- Kristy was agitated, and tears started falling down her cheeks. (Y/N) held her hands and looked at her, whispering.

- “You had heard that chuckle before, hadn’t you?”- and the girl nodded.

- “But your parents told you you were too old to believe in the boogie man, right?”- (Y/N) continued, fighting her own tears.

- “(Y/N)?”- Prentiss was confused

- “It’s not your fault-” (Y/N) whispered and wrapped her arms around the girl, who now started sobbing- “You have to understand it’s not your fault. He wanted you to be scared”.

- “(Y/N), what are you talking about?”- Prentiss asked her but still didn’t get any answer.

- “Kristy, this is important. Do you remember if a stranger had been in your house in the last week?”- but the girl just shook her head- “He may have said his car broke down, or he was lost”

- “A man came last Wednesday”- the girl whispered, still crying- “He said he needed help with his car… dad borrowed him some tools and helped him change his tire”

(Y/N) nodded and looked at Prentiss.

- “That’s the guy”

- “How do you know?”- Emily was confused. Not only because tears kept falling from (Y/N) ’s eyes, but because of her deduction.

- “Believe me, that’s the guy. I’m gonna call Hotch”.

- “(Y/N)! Wait!”- Prentiss ran after her friend and followed her back to the SUV- “What the hell happened back there?”

- “What do you mean?”- the young agent tried to act as if nothing had happened. Which was impossible, but still, she gave it a shot.

- “You knew something about this case! You knew the girl had heard the unsub before, how?”

(Y/N) stayed still and just looked at her friend, took a deep breath, and lied.

- “We studied this case back in the academy. Some of the kids said they had heard a chuckling the days before the murder”

Prentiss frowned. She had read that case over and over again, and she knew that information wasn’t in any file. But it was apparent (Y/N) didn’t want to talk about it.

Against all odds, (Y/N) managed to go through the day, keeping herself as calm as possible. After talking with Kristy, she and Prentiss reached the police station. Spencer was waiting for her with a hot cup of her favorite coffee. Just what she needed. He held her hand and kissed it as they walked to the rest of the team.

- “How are you feeling, buttercup?”

- “I’m tired...”- she sighed and looked into his chocolate eyes. They were filled with love for her. The kind of love that made her feel no matter what, everything was going to be ok.

- “When we are back home, I’ll run you a bubble bath. Would you like that?”

- “I would love that, honey”

They delivered a profile, which confirmed it was the same killer as in the nineties. A white man. Now in his late fifties. His parents had committed suicide when he was thirteen. He was left alone with the corpses for three days until a neighbor contacted the police because of the smell. As he grew up, his trauma led him to kill couples around his parents’ age, with a single kid the same age as he was when he died.

- “Hey baby girl, I need you to help me find this unsub”- Morgan called Garcia as the whole team gathered around the board. It was late, and they were all tired, but they didn’t want to give the unsub the chance to kill again.

- “I need you to run me a list of all the prisoners in the area who were released a month ago, that’s when the crimes started”

- “You are gonna have to give me something else, chocolate thunder. Do you have any kind of idea how many people are released weekly from jail?”

- “Ten thousand”- Spencer answered and kept his eyes stuck at the board- “Garcia, he is around fifty, white, and had been in jail approximately thirteen or fourteen years”.

(Y/N)’ s heart was beating so fast inside her chest she thought anyone could hear it. Her legs were shaking, her eyes were watering up. But she had to keep herself together. She had to, for the team. For herself. For this case. For the victims.

- “Still too many”- Garcia said

- “Can you see if any of them had a red truck?”- (Y/N) asked, and the whole team turned to her, confused

- “Why a red truck?”- Hotch asked her, confused

- “It was a theory we analyzed at the academy”- she lied again.

- “Bingo! Sam Paterson, 53 years old, was released five weeks ago. I’m sending you his last known address right now”.

- “(Y/N), I just read all the files about this case, including the cases from ’98, and they never mentioned a red truck”- Spencer asked his girlfriend. They were in the SUV, and Morgan was driving. Reid turned to the backseat to look at her, but she kept her eyes in the window.

- “I don’t know why it wasn’t there. Maybe they dismissed part of the evidence”

Reid was afraid to ask again, so he just nodded and turned to Morgan.

- “How long until we get there?”

- "Two minutes. I can’t wait to catch this bastard”.

The unsub was hidden in a barn at the back of his property. He had all the trophies he kept from the crime scenes: a toy from each kid’s bedroom.

They surrounded him quickly, but he kept pointing a gun against the team. He knew he was fucked, but he wasn’t going to surrender.

- “You are done, Sam”- Morgan tried to talk to him, but the unsub just looked at the agents around him and laughed.

- “I was sure you were going to be the one to get me”- he said and looked at (Y/N)- “You haven’t changed a thing”

- “Shut up!”- (Y/N) muttered and bit her lips, trying her best not to cry. She didn’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing her crumble.

- (”Y/N) James, sorry, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), you use your mother’s last name now”

- “Shut up!”- the gent spit those words holding her gun tight. She could shoot him. She wanted to shoot him. But she wasn’t a monster like him. She had to keep telling herself that over and over again to keep her from pulling the trigger.

The whole team looked at her in shock. James. The James was the last couple the unsub killed in ’98. Their thirteen-year-old daughter was left with their bodies for a whole day locked in the house before she managed to escape.

- “(Y/N)?”- Spencer didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t believe it.

- “I always knew you were special, (Y/N)”- Sam smiled- “You were the only one who heard me. Too bad mommy and daddy laughed at you when you told them someone was walking around the house at night”

- “You are sick”- it was a miracle that (Y/N) wasn’t crying. The anger that filled her body was too powerful, and it fueled her with revenge.

- “Maybe I am sick, but I’m also the one who knows you better than anyone”- he made a pause and looked around at the rest of the team- “Oh! They didn’t know! Why didn’t you tell them? Want me to give them the short version of the fact?”

- “You don’t know anything about me!”

- “That’s where you are wrong. I know a lot about you, (Y/N). I hunted you and your parents for weeks. Remember that little cat that used to play in your backyard? Garfield, that’s how you called him, right?”

- “Shut up!”- (Y/N) was having serious trouble stopping herself from pulling that trigger. She wanted to kill him and avenge her parents. They didn’t deserve to die just because a sick bastard decided to kill them.

- “I always wanted to ask you, how did you feel when you laid there with them? After I killed your parents, how did you feel? ‘cos when I laid with mine, I just felt such peace… Did you feel peace too? (Y/N)? did you?”

A single gunshot was the end of Sam. Spencer put his gun down after killing him and looked at his girlfriend. She was shaking. He didn’t say a word. He ran to her and wrapped his arms around her tight, just to hear her burst into tears. Tears she had been holding for years.

- “I’m here, I’m here with you”- he whispered as he kept kissing her cheeks- “You are safe, I’ve got you, (Y/N)”

- “He… he…”- she tried to speak, but she couldn’t. Spencer held her closer, tighter, and kissed any part of her he could. Her shoulder, her head, her cheek, her hair, her temple.

- “He’s dead, (Y/N). He is never going to hurt you again”

(Y/N) couldn’t move. She just kneeled on the floor, a few feet away from the corpse of the man that had killed her parents. Spencer held her in his arms and carried her outside.

- “You are safe”- Reid kept repeating, and she just nodded as he sat her in the back of an ambulance

- “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you, (Y/N). Did you know that?”- Reid ran his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping off the tears that kept falling from her eyes.

- “I will protect you, forever”

(Y/N) looked at him and quivered her chin again. She knew he meant it, and a small part of her felt relieved he knew everything now. Even the dark part she had managed to hide for years from everybody.

- “I love you so much (Y/N), and I am so proud of you. You overcame a situation that most people would never get over, and you became an amazing woman. The amazing woman I love”

- “Thank you”- (Y/N) whispered and sobbed- “I just didn’t want to tell anyone so they wouldn’t pity me”- she said and hugged Spencer tight again, hiding her face on his chest

- “No! listen to me. I am proud of you, that’s how I feel about you, ok?”- he looked at her and kissed her cheeks sweetly- “I love you (Y/N)”

- “I love you too, Spencer. Thank you for being here”

- “Always”

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